Podcast Season 1, Episode 010: Reigniting Your Creative Fire After 21 Years!

In this heartfelt episode, Jessica Roark opens up about her 21-year journey as a creative entrepreneur and mother, navigating life’s challenges with resilience and grace. From overcoming personal hardship and redefining her identity post-divorce, to building a supportive team and exploring her artistic boundaries through underwater fine art—Jessica’s story is a powerful reminder of the importance of authenticity, courage, and self-love. Tune in for honest reflections on balance, growth, and the magic that happens when you embrace and explore your true self. This is more than a conversation—it’s an invitation to live boldly and trust the process of becoming who you’re meant to be.

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🎧🎤 Did Jessica’s journey inspire you to embrace your true self and find liberation in your life? Share this episode with someone who needs to hear it!

🌈 Follow Jessica Rourke’s creative journey at https://epagafoto.com/ and on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/epagafoto. Explore her stunning Fine Art work at https://www.instagram.com/jessicaroark.art/

💬 I’d love to hear what resonated most with you from Jessica’s story—her resilience, creativity, or her honest insights on life and growth. Tag us @thedreamdoers.podcast and @epagafoto so we can celebrate your journey, too,

✨ Loving these heartfelt stories of transformation? Leave a review or hit follow so you never miss a powerful episode.

📝 Read the full show notes and reflections on my blog: https://www.janamarie.co/blog

✨ Subscribe to Dream Doer’s YouTube Channel for more inspiring stories: https://www.youtube.com/@dreamdoers.podcast

🌈 Keep up with Jana and the Dream Doers Podcast on TikTok, Instagram, Facebook: @thedreamdoers.podcast

🌐 Visit my website at https://www.thedreamdoers.com to connect and explore more content.

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Episode breakdowns:

00:00 Celebrating 21 Years of Creativity
02:59 Navigating Personal and Professional Life
05:49 Building a Supportive Community
09:00 The Journey of Divorce and Self-Discovery
11:27 Embracing Authenticity in Hard Times
14:32 Finding Balance and Setting Boundaries
27:43 Navigating Personal and Professional Identity
29:00 Balancing Creativity and Business
32:56 The Emergence of Fine Art
40:38 Faith and Personal Growth
44:28 Words of Wisdom for Navigating Life’s Challenges

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Show Notes for Season 1, Episode 010 of the Dream Doers Podcast: “Reigniting Your Creative Fire After 21 Years!“

Jana Marie (00:00)
Okay, you guys, this is getting more fun every day. Today I have on the Dream Doers podcast one of my most favorite creatives in the whole industry in Kansas City. And when I see creatives, I’m like all encompassing this woman is a queen. So let’s welcome Jessica Rourke with Epaga photo. We just celebrated last week, her 21st birthday.

Jessica (00:04)
Thank

Jana Marie (00:28)
or business anniversary. So I imagine in 21 years, we’re just gonna start like with a banger, right? We’re going right in because I have so many things I wanna ask you about. So in 21 years, there’s gotta be some hard things that have happened in business and life that you’ve had to overcome to keep going in the direction you wanna be going. So do you wanna share some of the hard lessons you’ve learned in 21 years?

Jessica (00:52)
Yeah.

Yeah, I Mean yeah, you start a business and it’s like a rainbows and butterflies like the creation of a business is fun building your brand building your ⁓ Your color palette your website your offerings Having your first client like actually hire you Doing a good job like all of those things are so initially Just like addictive ⁓

Ultimately, you’re going to hit a point where things get really hard. And honestly for me, what’s interesting, I was thinking about this is the hard thing for me was balancing my personal life and my professional life because my personal life was difficult, kind of from the get go. The beginning of my business kind of correlated with the beginning of my marriage and… ⁓

not to go all out on, my former husband has plenty of wonderful qualities. I would say our dynamic was really difficult. And so I think what fueled me so much in my business, like…

a was it was a good escape from the hardship of my actual life. I could escape into these fairy tale weddings and relationships and beautiful days ⁓ or creativity. Even if it wasn’t a wedding, it was just creating something beautiful. And ⁓ admittedly, it was a bit of an escape from the pain and hardship in my personal life. ⁓

the pain and hardship in my personal life also helped me develop like really good conflict resolution skills, which I think are really necessary as a business owner. Ultimately, you’ll have a client whose expectations you didn’t meet or someone who’s working for you who ⁓ is upset by the way something was handled. So.

I think that, you know, if we’re trying to see the silver lining in everything, it’s like the hardship of my personal life created the grit and the abilities that I have had to navigate the hardships in my business life. So I’m kind of thankful for them, but essentially the hardest thing was figuring out how to manage my…

personal and business life at the same time.

Jana Marie (03:31)
Yeah, juggling both is a full-time job and you don’t realize how many hats you’re going to wear in both. So how did you kind of balance motherhood and partnership and business and then partnerships and business, all of it?

Jessica (03:37)
Yeah. Yeah.

⁓ I’m highly relational person. love people. ⁓ So, I mean, having a kid, when I had my first daughter, it was seven years into me having a business. And at that point, the business was pretty well established and I had even brought on, I think,

three associate photographers by that time. So the beautiful thing about that for me is everything I ever wanted with the idea of having associates came to life when I had this baby, which was as women, it is incredibly difficult to do it all, to have a baby, to show up at the weddings when you’re nine months pregnant, to have any sort of maternity leave. So if we have a team of people, then hopefully that will become

more doable and ⁓ just easier on the nervous system as a mom. And it was. So when I had that first, my first baby, her name is Sloan, she’s now 11, ⁓ my team showed up big, you know.

coming in and helping me shoot the last weddings before I gave birth to her and then on the tail end making sure that they kind of manned the admin and the emails and all of that so I could have at least a few weeks of maternity leave. And that is actually what the vision of the associateship was from the beginning. So it was really wonderful to see that.

come to life and then as my associates then got pregnant and had babies, it was time to give back and say, okay, I am not breastfeeding and I’m not carrying a child at this point in time. How can I help you? How can I come in and alleviate you so that you can enjoy being a mom? ⁓ So I feel like that has always served a really beautiful purpose. And I really tell people this, I just don’t think that I was ever meant to work alone.

I just, I love connecting with people, collaborating with people, using other people’s gifts to balance out mine. I’m super aware of where I’m gifted and then I’m super painfully aware of where I’m not. And so trying to find people who have something to let them shine in places where I simply don’t has been, it’s like really satisfying, you know, to like be able to stand in my own gift

Jana Marie (06:18)
that.

Jessica (06:19)
and not try to be everything to everyone and do everything well, because I’m not gonna, you know. So I’ve learned a lot from my associates and allowing them to kind of take leadership in certain areas. And all of that has led to the, think, why I have not burnt out over 21 years.

has been kind of a shared responsibility, just a team approach towards servicing our clients and creating here in Kansas City.

Jana Marie (06:56)
I love that so much. Essentially, you’re building a community, which we all need, to do life with, and it’s kind of flowing between your personal life, because they’ve become your friends, and then you have them in business, and it’s kind of, you you’re a mom, so I can say this and be goofy about it, but it’s like you’ve built this mother ship. And you’re, like you said, you you have your gifts, they have your gifts, so you’re like, in order for me to be the best version of me, I need people to fill in these gaps, but I also really…

Jessica (07:02)
Yes.

Jana Marie (07:26)
cherish them as people, you know, and I’ve watched you from the side also propel these people into their giftings. So that’s really special. What?

Jessica (07:36)
Well, is

also the, I mean, the role of having a business is you’re always learning, you’re always shape shifting and figuring out what the next best thing is for your business. And what I’m learning now is

As a leader, I’ve never wanted to stifle someone’s growth and keep them from pursuing their own dreams. And so here I’ve had these associates for some of them over a decade, over 15 years, and recognizing that one of the most loving things I can do is to just let them…

go and support them. It’s been hard to find the balance between how do I support them but also protect my own business. You know what I mean? Because this, I don’t want a set of precedents that people can come into my business, take advantage in any sort of a way and then leave and take everything with them. At the same time, I want to, I really feel a sense of purpose outside of creating photographically about helping people create.

themselves, their own artistry, their creative outlet, and sometimes their own businesses. So I would say that’s my current state is just like really having to like dig deep and like figure out that balance.

Jana Marie (08:57)
I swear, and then yours barks. I swear mine do not bark and don’t move until I do these things.

Jessica (09:10)
Muffy, come here. Come here, babe. Muffy, come here. Come here. Come

Jana Marie (09:12)
Flight.

Jessica (09:17)
Muffin is just kind of a therapy dog.

Jana Marie (09:21)
Okay, tell us about this cute little thing because I of course follow you on stories and things and I see this little fur ball in this purse and I’m thinking, oh this is cute, she’s carrying him around and then all of sudden he’s in a photo shoot. It’s a boy or girl.

Jessica (09:36)
Yeah, well,

can see. Just to get things right, this is Muffin. I adopted her just shortly after my divorce, actually, which I didn’t really talk about that. I do think divorce has been deemed by our society as something that is just negative.

And really, I just want to acknowledge my marriage had really, really hard things about it that I didn’t want to continue, obviously. That’s why we got a divorce. But it’s also a beautiful thing to be able to enjoy my former husband again and enjoy the pieces of him that were always there, but I didn’t see as much because the way that we interacted was…

Not great. And so in any case, we did end up deciding to get a divorce. I think that there’s been a lot of beauty in that process, one of which is Muffin. I got Muffin like three months after the divorce and she’s been such a beautiful addition to our family. My kids, it’s just sit around and look at her and talk about how much we’re like, I’m so sorry. I don’t mean for this to sound rude, but I kind of love Muffin more than I love you.

And I’m like, no, home’s taken. I get it. She’s pretty awesome. She’s just the sweetest thing. And then my son will chime in, and he’ll be like, OK, but just to clarify, if the house was on fire, would you rescue me or Muffin first? I’m like, babe, I’d rescue you. Don’t worry. But shortly thereafter, I’m coming in for Muffin.

Jana Marie (11:05)
You

You

That’s so funny. I mean, I get it. They’re an extension, again, of your family. They’re your little children. They just don’t talk back. Sometimes it can be best just to put your little fur child outside and let him run. Close.

Jessica (11:23)
Good job.

and just let

them, it’s pretty easy to give them a good life. You know, it’s pretty, I feel that way about flowers too. It’s like, think I love flowers and planting and blah, I’m like, all I have to do is water them, get them the appropriate amount of sun, deadhead them, and then.

It’s just like easy success, whereas business ownership, sometimes you do all the right things and you still don’t get the result that you wanted. So it’s nice.

Jana Marie (11:58)
Yeah.

So you mentioned divorce and honestly, I’m so impressed by your perspective and I’m impressed how you speak about the situation, even at your birthday. You know, you said nothing but kind things about this person who helped you essentially build your business and your life together, you know? And I really love the way that you’re handling and navigating all of it. It’s not, I think it’s more rare to hear people

speak about it in the way that you are. So because divorce can be really shattering, you know, personally and in a business, how did you rebuild your identity both as a mom and a business owner after that chapter?

Jessica (12:44)
Yeah, I mean I thought about divorce almost every year I was married like there was point in the year that I always contemplated it and I would think I was scared to Get divorced as someone who photographed weddings. I was like, well

there’s the end of that career. Like I can’t, and honestly, I think our society and our world, especially post pandemic where like there was quite an onslaught of divorces after that, ⁓ I think our world has begun to understand divorce as a chapter of life that doesn’t necessarily ring failure or, ⁓ you know, like, ⁓

She must be spiraling. No, sometimes that’s the biggest step towards self ⁓ health and just a better. Honestly, I think.

For good or bad, my former husband was just, he’s such a safe individual, like a safe, non-risk, like risk averse person. And I’m not like, love, I dream big and I take big moves. make big moves and I make them calculated. But that always made him nervous and anxious and da da da da da. And so did you ever read that book by Glennon Doyle called Untamed?

Jana Marie (14:07)
Uh-uh.

Jessica (14:09)
It’s this book that talks about how women in general have been kind of taught to be tame, tamer than we are at root, to suppress our adventure, our risk, our wild, our loud thoughts, our opinions, all that. And I had friends be like, you should read this book. And I was like, so I did.

And it paints a picture of like a woman is like a caged animal, be it like a cheetah or something like that. And she’s just trying to break out. And I did not resonate with that at all. thought, no, what I feel like is I am the cheetah. I am a cheetah. I am out of the cage. I’m.

Dragging this cage. I am trying to run at 50 miles an hour and this cage is behind me I’m just dragging it and like having to Gain a you know, that’s what marriage is. You know, you you do have to It’s a joint effort and so I Would imagine my former husband feel some relief to no longer be being pulled along

Jana Marie (15:25)
by this fierce avachita.

Jessica (15:27)
in directions that he doesn’t want to go in. And to that, I just think he deserves to have a life that makes him feel comfortable. And I deserve to have a life that includes adventure and exploration and successes and failures. Like I would say, just have increasingly become less concerned with failure.

because most things ⁓ come out of failure. Like most successes come out of a failure at some point. And if you take the second to evaluate, if once you are no longer afraid of failure, you can look at what happened, you can learn from it, and then you find your success. so I think I’m just in that process right now. ⁓

Jana Marie (16:19)
And it’s beautiful. I mean, I hear all the time, you’re refined in the fire, right? A glass blower has to put his creation back in the fire to refine it and get all those imperfections out and to grow it and mold it. So while it seems very scary and confusing, or you’re navigating a lot of unknowns while you’re in it, it’s hard. But then when you start to get past some things, you see why things.

happened the way they did or why it was important to go through it in such a way, right? So was there ever a time that you felt, can either crumble under this or I can keep moving forward? And then what did the moving forward look like? How did you kind of close this chapter and keep going?

Jessica (16:53)
Yeah.

Yeah, I mean, it was a really, really big move to end my marriage. I mean, we’d been married for 17 years. A lot of my identity was wrapped up in the marriage. And also, as a creative who makes moderately beautiful things look really beautiful, like that’s my job, right? Like I did that with my life too. So it’s like, my life was never terrible, but it wasn’t as beautiful as I made it look on the outside. so…

in ending my marriage, there was kind of also me having to be like, y’all, I’m sorry, I know this seems shocking to the majority of you. And that’s on me because I’ve been painting this out to be something a much better version than it was, you know? And so that was embarrassing. I mean, it was kind of just like an admission of

in authenticity, which I really pride myself on being authentic. But I just had to own it and ask for people to understand and trust that the decisions that I was making was for the best for me, my family, and for my business. And I think I sensed the side eyes. I think anytime someone is going through a divorce,

people kind of watch to see if you’re gonna unravel, if you’re gonna go wild, if you’re gonna… And I just had to, again, put the blinders on and be like, I know I’m just gonna stay connected to my true north and who I am. And yes, I am probably going to seem a bit more adventurous because I am at my core. Like, this is who I am. ⁓

Jana Marie (18:56)
And now you’re gaining time to rediscover yourself, right? So you’ve got a few extra days that you can pour into you.

Jessica (19:00)
No person.

Yes, yeah. And connect with people and create. It’s just more time to connect with people and to create in different ways. ⁓ And that’s the beautiful thing. It’s just like I just feel so in alignment with my core, with who I am, with who I was created to be.

And so that while there’s still sadness of a loss of family and the fact that my kids have had to navigate just an adjustment, know, nobody celebrates that. And I didn’t, again, I didn’t make that decision lightly. I waited until I knew that they were old enough to like be able to manage. But they’ve done really, really well as well. I mean, I think they have. mean, we all need therapy, but I…

Jana Marie (19:34)
Yeah.

Jessica (19:51)
Everybody needs therapy. you know, it’s like to be forced into therapy at a young age is probably good because it normalizes therapy for your life, which is probably good. So.

Jana Marie (20:02)
Yeah,

and you know, pain and hardship is inevitable. I have, you know, been talking about this for quite some time. I don’t know why we think growing up, we don’t need tools to prepare ourselves for hard things to happen, both in jobs and school and personal life. But for some reason, we were kind of taught growing up that things would be so wonderful. And then when it happens, you’re like, wait, what? Even though we know hard things happen in life, it doesn’t feel real until it happens to you.

Jessica (20:31)
Mm-hmm.

Jana Marie (20:31)
and then you

kind of feel ill-equipped. So, yeah.

Jessica (20:34)
Your choice

is to like fake it and like try to just, you know, muscle through on your own or to let people in. But that that create that requires some level of humility to just be honest and.

But I found so many people feeling like permission to also be honest about where they’re at and for me to be a support to them, not to say, hey, everybody go out and get a divorce. That’s not it. But like, hey, like this is a good opportunity for you to look at how can you change the trajectory of your marriage? How can you go into counseling as a couple fight for this marriage as long as you want before you make, but also like you don’t have to feel ashamed for getting a divorce. Like this could be.

When a door closes beautiful thing like other opportunities open So I don’t know it’s just I hope that on Some levels it has been a breath of fresh air for those around me who’ve watched me navigate it and like you said I

I know your situation with your former husband is different on so many levels. Like, there’s a lot more involved that would make it difficult to reach a place of peace. ⁓ But it was with intention that I basically led with kindness and didn’t accept anything other than that from him in the couple of Rocky moments we had.

And it’s like parenting, like anytime you’re trying to instill a behavior and you’re you’re consistent with it, like it usually, there is some fruit from that. But I joke, our divorce counselor was like, or our divorce lawyer was like, wow, you guys should write a book on like how to navigate divorce with like kindness and generosity and.

Jana Marie (22:29)
⁓

like great co-parenting was happening and they were seeing it.

Jessica (22:34)
Well, I mean it was more like division of property and like all that and I just was like whatever whatever, know, did did did did it like we’re starting over like The beautiful thing is it’s not like we’re like bajillionaires and we have a massive amount of like yachts to divide up or something like that like that made it easier, but there were things of value and to say you and your what we want in general is wellness for our family while we’re not

We’re ending the marriage, we’re not ending the family. So I want what’s best for my kids. And if that means that you have this amount of money from the house or blah, blah, blah, that’s what I want. You know what I mean? ⁓ But I joked and I tend to turn to humor in moments of like, discomfort, but I was like, well, one thing we can write a book on divorce, because we sure couldn’t write one on marriage.

Jana Marie (23:26)
⁓ my

god.

Jessica (23:29)
We couldn’t figure out kindness and generosity in marriage, so here we are, writing a book on divorce. ⁓ But I am proud of it. I am proud of the way that we’ve navigated it and hopeful for the future and, you know, think it’s as good as it can be, but…

Jana Marie (23:47)
Yeah, well, thank you for sharing all that and being vulnerable. And I know for me, navigating a lot of the hard things, I realized so many people were reaching out kind of saying, you know, me too, quietly behind the scenes, or no one in my family or friends know about this yet. But I can tell you’re going through things. so like, can, you know, I started to see a lot of the true mask of social media come off and people were reaching out.

you know, which led me to creating a resource center for support and therapists and people to follow and kind of how I got through my stuff. But for me, and just like you said, authenticity is huge. I don’t want to ever present one thing online in business or in personal life and then have that be totally false behind closed doors. I want to be the same in my home as I am at church, as I am at a bar, as I am at a sports game, you know what I mean? And so I really started

trying to push the conversations and the dialogue online especially to be more real. And it was super repelling. People didn’t actually like it. You know, they, I think people go through enough hard things in their day to day that they sort of want to have that mask online where it’s like, we’re focused on the good things. I only want to see what people are going through that are good because I want to be uplifted. And then the second you start talking about hard things.

It gets super challenging because you’re like, I don’t want to just sit in it. And I never want to feel that way as well. Right. Like there’s got to be that projection forward, you know, let’s talk about the realities, but then how can we navigate those and get through it? So with all of that said, how did you learn how to have some pretty hard boundaries that, you know, separated what were your non-negotiable is to protect your children and your family. And then to also.

Jessica (25:23)
Thank you.

Okay.

Jana Marie (25:41)
set those boundaries for your business? Because I know they blend beautifully together since you bounce between the two, but what were your boundaries during all of this? Again, to kind of push you forward.

Jessica (25:53)
Well, I know…

I am not like a huge private person. pretty, you know, I, if it were up to me, I might share more than what I did. But I also took a moment to pause and be like, I don’t need to make a public announcement about what’s going on in my personal life. Unless it’s like my, I mean, my closest friends, of course they had trapped, they walked this marriage with me for 17 years. So I told them, but to the masses, I was like, I don’t feel,

the need to publicize, make an announcement, da da da da da. If people are close enough to me, they can ask me if something’s going on, but my former husband is very private. And so I knew an act of love for him would be to not discuss ⁓ the matters of our divorce, especially when it was happening, because it landed differently for him, you know? And so… ⁓

Jana Marie (26:52)
Yeah.

Jessica (26:54)
I really didn’t say anything about it until it was over. And then I was in my feels and I think I posted one picture of like the signed papers and just being like, man, that sucks. Like nobody gets married wanting this to be the result. And I’m sad, you know? And that was one day and you know, that was it. But.

Jana Marie (27:13)
Yeah.

Jessica (27:19)
I interest I have like three Instagram accounts one is for my wedding business Ipega photo one is for my personal life Which is like a protected like request only account and then one is for my fine art And what’s interesting is I just have not posted to my personal account like at all since this whole thing started and

I think it’s because that whole account is my family, like my whole family. And to be honest, I found myself being like, well, number one, I don’t need three Instagram accounts. But also, there is this…

Jana Marie (27:55)
More to manage.

Jessica (28:03)
bitter sweetness about going back to that account and posting, you know, without my husband, my former husband. And so I have, I just haven’t like, I feel like I never really forced those issues usually like at the right time. My true sense of self will be like, you know what, I think it’s time to shut that whole account down or maybe, you know, I don’t know, but I’m not there yet. So, ⁓ but otherwise I really don’t.

dialogue about it much on social media.

Jana Marie (28:34)
Yeah, yeah, well let’s dive into some more creative business chat because again, I just wanna pick your brain about so many things and I love that you’re open to sharing all this. I think it’s a beautiful perspective that a lot of people don’t have so I hope it gives listeners some insight to be like, it doesn’t have to be hard. It doesn’t have to be that way. know, like there’s beauty in what we’ve built and we’re gonna maintain that. But.

Talking about Ipega, so I you’ve got your different accounts and you’ve kind of got different creatives ⁓ journeys you’re taking, but talking about Ipega specifically, how have you kept your creative edge while also managing the mundane business side of things that we all love so much? And then how, once you figured that out, did you even add the fine art side to all of that?

Jessica (29:25)
Yeah.

Well, I’m actually not good at what you just asked. mean, I’m usually had in that is a pain point for me. The business side is a pain point. think I look at you and I’m like, dang, she’s so good at systems like systems and creating businesses that essentially like run themselves. And I’ve never figured that out. ⁓ I’ve always relied on. Thank you. ⁓

Jana Marie (29:29)
Hahaha!

I got you, girl.

Jessica (29:55)
Typically in all of my years of having a business have had an office manager who helps run the day in and day out. And that’s, it’s a tricky position to be in because honestly, it’s like, call it the junk drawer position. Like it’s not pretty. It’s like me coming in the office every morning with like a new bunch of crap and being like, help me make sense out of this. You know, it, I don’t think it’s fun for anyone. ⁓

Jana Marie (30:10)
I’m like…

you

There are people

that thrive in that area, you know, and they really do love the organizational side. Now I love that you commend me for it, but that was not something that I was really excited to dive into. I just know I needed to get my stuff together and I was the one wearing all the hats. So in order for this, for me to focus on what I wanted, I had to get this under control, you know? So I would love to have an office person that I could just go, help.

Jessica (30:30)
Yup.

Help. Yeah,

it is nice and at the same time it’s, it is like a constant mirror looking back at myself and showing, you know, inconsistency, probably my pain point is my inconsistencies with, like I’ll create a plan, I’ll be like, here’s the workflow, here’s what we’re doing, and then I don’t do it. You know? And then the office manager is like, why didn’t you do that? And I’m like, I know.

Jana Marie (31:14)
Yeah.

Jessica (31:19)
I didn’t do it. so that is, I’m still figuring that out. We’re 21 years in. I haven’t figured that out. It has helped immensely to have, I started with my first CRM maybe five years ago and created actual workflows so that the clients had actual consistent promptings and like we did things at the same time in the process.

But again, like working the clients, I created them and then working the clients through all the way through the workflows has been a challenge. ⁓ So I would say nobody’s bragging about my abilities to, think my relational and creative capacities have overcompensated for that to make people, my clients are somewhat understanding of the fact that prompt emails and like, yeah.

they might not receive, but they will receive a wonderful experience and a wonderful product. And so we’re always a work in process, but.

Jana Marie (32:20)
Well look, Albert Einstein wasn’t the best chef in the world and also the most genius at what he was doing. You know what I mean? I’ve heard that in order to be the most successful at what you want to be, you have to be like obsessed with that. Someone like me who kind of, I always joke like I get bored easy, so I just want to dabble in everything. I’m kind of the jack of all trades.

But if you want to be truly excelling in the one thing, then you’ve got to pour all of your energy into that one thing. So how did you then add your fine art side whenever you’ve got so much to juggle already?

Jessica (32:56)
Well, that happened the year of the pandemic, so all of a sudden we had no weddings. Like, They were all off the books. ⁓ while that was show in and of itself administratively, survival for me, was like, now I’m not…

I’m not connecting with people and I’m not creating and I’m just doing admin work and redoing my contracts and having, you know, and so it was one of those moments where it’s like an undeniable prompting of whatever you call it, God, universe, spirit, where it was like, this is, it was almost like a wave that was like, I was not going to be able to not do it. You know, I knew that I had been curious about

shooting in a more abstract form about specifically water. Water has played a unique role in my life. I was a swimmer, I was a diver, I did water birds with my children. ⁓ I just think water is this, I resonate with water because it’s this beautiful element that cannot be controlled.

And especially when you do not control water, it does the most beautiful things. And so I just decided, I literally just decided to buy a bunch of camera equipment and ⁓ I even have this like underwater snorkel like thing that I still haven’t figured out. I’m like looking at it right now. It was expensive.

Jana Marie (34:25)
I love that

so much because a piece of what I always wanted to do was this. So I’m kind of living vicariously through you. You know, we’ve talked about this. like, what do I start by? I’ve wanted to do this for so long. But I love that you’ve taken it in a very artistic way. It really truly is fine art.

Jessica (34:46)
Yeah, yeah. Well, I think I’ve always, I mean, shooting weddings is like a whole different skill set because you have all these different players and you’ve got the wedding planner and the mom and the bride and everybody has their kind of needs and desires and that’s, I enjoy also like.

morphing and helping meet those needs and creating these beautiful pictures. But that’s a whole different skill set than capturing like one strong moment that…

gets blown up big and ends up in someone’s vacation home. And it was there that I was like, oh my gosh, I don’t have anybody telling me what to do. You know what I mean? And I would just get lost for hours in this space of like, well, what happens if I do this? What happens if do this? That’s just great. That’s just great.

Jana Marie (35:29)
Yeah.

Yeah, let’s play with this. You can experiment.

Jessica (35:40)
And you can, it’s a safe place to fail because guess what? Nobody’s expecting, I have no deadlines, I have no ⁓ expectation to put out new work. The new work comes when the new work comes. so I did, it was very, ⁓ I mean, I shot underwater, above water, creating a collection of work for like three or four years. In 2024, I launched my actual fine art website. And that was huge because I, was…

wedding photos generally are loved and adored and appreciated by the clients. Like it’s a 10 out of 10 success rate. Art, some people connect with it and some people don’t get it. beyond that, they don’t like it. They’re like, ooh, too much color, ooh, too much this, ooh, ooh. And so I was like, okay, and putting this out there, I think it’s good, but how are people going to respond?

Jana Marie (36:24)
Very subjective.

Nah.

Jessica (36:39)
It’s

been so encouraging to see people experiencing it in these different ways, like connecting with the art in these different ways, escaping them. You know, it’s a lot of what I was honestly experiencing on a personal level. was like, it was coming out visually for me, like an escape, ⁓ like I’m yearning for this piece. ⁓

Jana Marie (37:02)
Bye!

Jessica (37:08)
You know, underwater, it’s very peaceful. You can, you can do whatever you want. Nobody’s going to tell you what’s cool or what’s not cool. There’s no code of conduct underwater. Whereas above water, we’re told literally how to dress, how to talk, how to, it’s just like this escape, you know, above water, there’s noise, there’s news, there’s chaos, there’s war underwater. was just like an escape from all of it. And so I.

Jana Marie (37:35)
Quiet.

Serene.

Jessica (37:37)
Right, it’s serene, healing. And then working with the subjects, was like watching them become liberated by the fact that they didn’t have to ever look at the camera and smile or have the right angle. Like there is no right angle, actually. Like we’re watching you.

Jana Marie (37:48)
Mmm.

Yeah, and they’re feel,

they’re like in it and feeling it and flowing with it too and just rolling with the punches and what beauty to see the dance of both you and them and light and how things reflect, you know, all come together.

Jessica (38:05)
Yes.

Yeah. And play, to play. as, I mean, kids, it’s so natural to, get in the water and they just, you don’t have so much, they just play. They’re flipping, they’re jumping, they’re cannonballing, they’re diving, they’re splashing. Adults were like, we literally forget how to play underwater.

Sometimes and so just usually I just tell my subjects. I’m like, hey, we’re not here to perform This is not a performative thing. I don’t need you to look like a model. I don’t need you to look Like any picture I’ve ever taken because your energy is unique to you and that’s what’s gonna come out underwater It’s just like you are pure energy and

Jana Marie (38:35)
Thank

Jessica (38:49)
I think when people get, it takes a little while, like any photo shoot, to like get them to truly be like, okay, I don’t have to perform. Okay, I don’t have to look perfect. Okay, I’m just gonna play and let go and have fun. And that’s when, you know, a great image happens. ⁓ And I think that’s what my underwork.

my fine artwork really in a nutshell is just like liberation. It’s just like it showcases liberation and that deep wild that I believe we all have, whether you’re expressing it or not. It’s like giving permission to my client that the ones that become like in my art gallery collections is a very defining moment for that person where it’s like, and that’s when it happened. You know what I mean? And

Jana Marie (39:38)
Yeah.

Jessica (39:39)
It’s almost therapeutic, which is so interesting because my background is in therapy and I’m like, feel like I am inadvertently helping people work through some of their own traumas and just expanding. Maybe not even working through their traumas. They’re just expanding out of the societal bubble that we’re encouraged to stay in and they’re expressing in ways that they haven’t had permission to express before.

⁓ So that’s been…

Jana Marie (40:11)
I love

that. I love that. And I didn’t know that you had started in a different field and made your journey here. So you had talked about how healing, you know, water is for you. And then what a cool connection for you and your clients to both have this liberating thing. So what role has faith had in this journey from the healing world?

all the way through the creative world and then this beautiful blend of both now.

Jessica (40:43)
I mean, I grew up fundamental Christian and I say that with a sense of like pride because I know that it’s shaped, like I have an undeniable belief in a higher power. I think the way I was brought up in the Christian church was very limiting to who God is and what God is capable of doing. So it’s for a lot of people I know it’s been like, ⁓

you know, kind of a complete dismissal of faith for me, I feel like my faith matured. It was like, okay, so we were taught about this God that was like this big right here. And actually, this God is way bigger and way more complex, way more layers and beauty. Like I see so much beauty in all these new nuances that I think, so hence fundamental Christians with like side eye, you know, but I think.

the complexity of you’ve been taken to, not to get into all the layers, but it’s like you see numerology, you hear about numerology, you hear about horoscopes, the moon, the energy, it’s like, it’s undeniable that these things are happening energetically, the moon, the cycles. And I believe that’s a part of the, it’s not God or, it’s like God and, it’s like it’s all.

Jana Marie (42:06)
Ugh.

Jessica (42:08)
and what a genius, brilliant God we have if that is all interwoven and connected. So anyways, navigating all the hard things has been easier probably with that kind of foundation of like, okay, but I’m not alone. There is a God who loves me, who on my darkest day will hold my hand and…

you know, care for me. And I’ve experienced that time and time again through the heart. I just, I’ve never been one to be like, I went through this dark time so there must not be a God, you know? It’s like, ⁓ I’m going through this

Jana Marie (42:49)
Yeah, you just accepted

it for what it is in this life we’re living and made the best of it and kept going.

Yeah, we seem to want to take things we don’t understand, right? Especially talking in the spiritual world and we try to put them in a little box so that we can understand it. But how cool I feel like this whole interview with you has been like blowing the roof off, right? You’re just like, we’re capped out and I got to get out. You know, this cage symbolism and this like box and you’re experiencing. It’s really cool to see, you know, as your friend and like kind of

Jessica (43:09)
Mm-hmm.

Jana Marie (43:31)
the business watching you too and it’s cool to see someone evolve and grow and like step into their purpose and step into their full of self and again what a beautiful perspective that you’ve had that you’re allowing yourself to do that, you’re allowing your ex-partner to do that and you’re allowing your kids to do that and you’re letting it be. So many of us, myself included, know, you don’t really have the tools to navigate, you don’t have a manual when you get

kids and marriages and we think that things are supposed to be certain ways and so it’s really confusing and hard whenever something goes different. like, wait, I wasn’t quite prepared for that. we, you know, but I love that you’re just letting it be and you’re taking it one beautiful stride at a time. So if there’s a mom watching that’s going through lots of things, it could be something different, maybe not divorce, maybe loss of a child or something.

Jessica (44:16)
and

Jana Marie (44:28)
How, what words of wisdom would you give her when trying to navigate such a heavy personal bubble? How would you encourage her through this business that she’s either creating or trying to step into or maybe evolving, maybe she’s had a business. What would you tell her to keep that perspective? Because again, I feel like how you are speaking about all of this is pretty different. And I hope you realize how special that is for you to have that mindset, you know?

Jessica (44:58)
Well, it’s either, ⁓ it could be annoying to some people. think in the past, sometimes that like power positivity can be annoying. It’s like, and I guess that’s what I would say to when you say like, ⁓ loss of a child. I’m like, ⁓ okay, now if that, if I were navigating that, that changes things. Like, that’s a whole different beast. ⁓

But I think in general, it’s just like, for one, it’s just letting yourself grieve, like grieve, and letting that be messy, giving yourself permission to feel all the feels, like however, and then like trying to find like support, just support for people. You have to self care. You have to find people who are going to…

Breathe into you positively, just not even with the, like helping your business adventures, but just your soul. Like you just gotta take care of your soul. You have to find little things in the day that let you take a deep breath and enjoy life, you know, and focus on just like one thing at a time. And, ⁓

And then, you know, the years that I escaped into the beauty of creating in my wedding business while I was kind of dying inside, I’m not ashamed of that. That’s actually not a bad coping skill. It’s like to put all of your kind of angst aside and fuel it towards something positive and meaningful is not a bad move, you know? And so maybe like…

just trying to escape a little bit.

Jana Marie (46:41)
Well, honestly,

instead of suppressing it, it’s not suppressing and hiding and running from it. You’re letting it come out. Like you said, you’re breaking that barrier and you’re fueling yourself. So it’s a healing thing. It’s not an ignoring thing. It’s a, okay, it’s going to happen one way or the other. So let’s make the best of it. Like, gosh, what a freeing. I just, I love this. I’ve had goosebumps, practically everything you said.

Jessica (47:08)
Mm.

Jana Marie (47:10)
And I know you’re probably like, I’m just being me, but it’s really healing for me to sit here and listen to all this too. It makes me want to tear up because I just see you as such a powerful force. And I think, okay, everything you just said was so awesome and so wise, but what about the people that don’t have the community like you have? What about the people that don’t have the support? How would you?

encourage someone or what steps would you even begin to tell someone to go find that if they don’t have it?

Jessica (47:42)
Okay, so this has been huge for me too. And this has been the scariest thing for me because I’m such an outward connector with other people. But there have been times where I reached out or needed support from my family or from, and they just didn’t. I love my mom so much, but I would break down with her.

And instead of supporting me, she would point out how I could have avoided whatever the issue is or how I could have done that. I remember being like, mom, like you missed it. Like, I just need you to be my cheerleader. I need you not to be worried for me because that tells me that you don’t believe that I can navigate this on my own. Like you missed it. And so it’s in those moments.

that I realize your strongest source of strength is within yourself, is actually when you figure out how to sit in a room and…

manage your big emotions and whether that means journaling or dancing to get out, there’s like movement is medicine or like when you develop practices that actually don’t involve a community at all, like then you’ve really hit a new level of being able to support yourself. And I don’t think we’re supposed to live in a place of isolation, but it’s nice to be at peace and ⁓

Jana Marie (48:47)
Yeah.

Jessica (49:07)
connected with your true self so that you can kind of like rally yourself in different ways. know, when the community doesn’t show up or when they disappoint you because I have experienced that, you know.

Jana Marie (49:21)
Yeah, because if it’s one thing I’ve learned is no one’s coming to rescue you. You wake yourself up every day. You your kids ready. You go to your job. You have to manage what’s happening in your mind when you’re driving there. You know, it’s a lot of self work and personal development along the bus. Even if you’re not going through hard things and you haven’t navigated that, when you start a business, like you’ve got to be prepared to take on a lot of weight yourself.

Jessica (49:49)
Thank

Jana Marie (49:49)
and

then find the community too. It’s a beautiful, just, keep going back to your water and like I’m a visual person. So the rhythm of finding the balance of what works and every pool is different. The shape of every pool is different. The people in the pool, the colors, the seats, like there’s just so much to navigate. So really going inward and finding yourself through all that process is such a.

beautiful, I don’t want to say this word, what’s another word for like, you’re vomiting all this beauty out, you know, you’re projecting it, it’s like beaming off of you and then everybody else around you gets to enjoy in all of this with you instead of it being such a heavy, yucky process. So I love your balance of going inward, being authentic, sharing a little bit on the outside, finding your people, it’s just, it’s not.

It’s been such a wonderful interview and I feel like again for me if it’s affecting me this much then I know other people are gonna listen and be like, whoa, this chick’s awesome. So with that said, where can we find you? If people wanna follow you, can you tell us your Instagram, your website?

Jessica (50:45)
Thank

Yeah. Okay. So my wedding business is called ePega photo. A lot of people say ePaga. It’s like, I say it’s tomato, tomato. doesn’t matter to me, but it’s actually the word agape backwards. And if you’re familiar with the word agape, it’s actually rooted in biblical language, but agape is like a form of pure, unrelentless, forgiving, unconditional love. And when I started the company, I was like, I…

don’t want to name it after myself, let’s name it after… I loved the Greek language when I was in college. So I spelt agape backwards. So Ipega is E-P-A-G-A and then F-O-T-O just because I was trying to be European or something when I was 22. Starting the business, was like, this will be cool.

Jana Marie (51:41)
You

Jessica (51:41)
So

my Instagram handle is IpegaPhoto with an F. ⁓ Same for the website, Ipegafoto.com. And then my recent endeavors with the fine art is just jessicarork.art. And that’s another interesting thing. People are like, so what are you gonna do now that you’re divorced? Are you gonna like go back to your maiden name? And I’m like, no. Like my children’s last name is Rourke.

Rourke is a part of my journey. It’s a part of my story. I’m not working to like, ⁓ it doesn’t really feel, I’m not like trying to hide this chapter of my life. It was what it was and it served its purpose and I love being Jessica Rourke. You know what I mean? I’m not gonna like change that. But yeah, so ⁓ jessicarourke.art is my Instagram handle and then my website is also jessicarourke.art, not dot com dot art.

Jana Marie (52:23)
Why?

Girl, you are a queen of a person. Like truly inside, outside, in business, in love, in motherhood. Like I’ve thoroughly enjoyed getting to know you and following you. And I know I again could probably sit here for five more hours and we could get wine and we could talk about so much more. So for anyone listening in, go follow her, pick her brain if you want. And if we need to, we’ll do a part two and we’ll just have you back.

Jessica (52:53)
Thank

So.

Jana Marie (53:03)
Thank you so much

for being here. I adore you in so many ways. You’ve been such a mentor. You know, I love in your 21st celebration last week, you went around the room and talked about how everybody kind of was a part of your journey and evolved you. And that was so special. And I loved hearing because I didn’t know those things, but we all wanted to just bounce that right back. So know that all of us were like, man, we could talk about this girl for hours. You know, you’re a special force of nature.

and you’re beautiful and you’re gonna take off. We’re gonna see this chick in like the top magazines, you know, one day and I’m excited for it because I’m like, know her. I’m gonna get your signature now, right? Anyway, thank you so much for being on here. I’d keep you for another hour, but we got to cap out here. So I love you, friend.

Jessica (53:38)
I hope so. Let’s bring it. Let’s do it.

Okay.

Love you. Thank you so much for inviting me and I’ll see you around, you know. Okay. Bye.

Jana Marie (53:57)
Alright, bye!