Podcast Season 1, Episode 007: Mom-preneurship. Wise Dos and Don’ts with Bethany Shipley

This isn’t your typical “mompreneur” episode. Jana and Bethany get raw about the messy overlap of motherhood, business, and social media — the tightrope walk between being authentic and protecting your family from online dangers. They dive into the reality of your kids watching your every move, the pressure of sharing your life without exposing too much, and the hard decisions around what belongs online and what doesn’t. They unpack marketing as genuine sharing (not pushy selling), owning the tension of monetizing your story without shame, and why knowing your unique gifts means paying others for theirs too, to relish in your return on time. Most importantly, they reveal the truth: You plant the seeds, but changing hearts is not your job. This episode is a raw survival guide for moms hustling authentically, setting boundaries, and keeping their families safe in a digital world.

🎧🎤 If you’ve ever wanted inside the brain of the wonderful Bethany Shipley, this is one gets you a peak into the goodness. Click play below and join us in choosing to show up authentically online in a healthy way.

🌈 Follow Bethany’s business at www.bethanyshipley.com and instagram @bethanyjshipley

💬 We’d love to hear your favorite takeaway or what “full circle” moment you’re walking through right now. Tag us @thedreamdoers.podcast and @bethanyshipley so we can cheer you on, too.

🌟 Did this episode hit home? Share it with a friend who’s in the thick of building something meaningful — or someone who needs a reminder that growth is a journey worth showing up for.

✨ And if you’re loving these real, raw conversations about dreams, growth, and doing life on purpose — leave a review or hit follow so you never miss a beat.

📝 Read all the Show Notes (script) on our blog: ⁠https://www.janamarie.co/blog⁠

✨  Subscribe to Dream Doer’s YouTube Channel: ⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@dreamdoers.podcast⁠⁠

🌈 Follow Jana with the Dream Doers Podcast on TikTok, Instagram, Facebook: @thedreamdoers.podcast

🌐 Visit my website at ⁠⁠www.thedreamdoers.com⁠⁠

___________________________________________________________________

✨ Episode Highlights:

• [00:00] Regretful Posts & the Evolution of Self
  • Reflecting on old social media posts, growth, and cringe-worthy Facebook memories that shaped who we are today.
• [09:05] The Filter to Use Before Choosing What to Share Online
  • Bethany shares her “great-grandkids test” and how legacy, maturity, and alignment help determine what’s worth posting.

• [11:53] The Danger of Oversharing ‘Scabs, Not Scars’
  • Why timing matters when sharing vulnerably and how social media isn’t always a safe space for healing.

• [16:00] Stop Taking It Personally: Their Reaction Isn’t Your Responsibility
  • Insight into how people’s responses are more about their lens than your truth—and how to let that be okay.

• [26:00] Navigating Sharing Your Story That Involve Others
  • Navigating vulnerability when your personal story includes your kids or loved ones.

• [32:00] We Are All Sellers – Rethinking Sales & Marketing
  • How natural enthusiasm and personal experience make the best “marketing.”

• [42:00]  What Motherhood Taught Me About Business
  • Bethany shares how  your children’s uniqueness helps you understand your own gifts in business and the world! And how each of us and our gifts MATTER to how we exist together.

• [46:00] The Best Return on Your Time? Pay the Experts.
  • Jana reminds listeners that being a “do-it-all” entrepreneur isn’t sustainable. Delegating to others in their gifting brings growth, collaboration, and mutual blessing—ultimately leading to more balance and peace

• [56:00]  Modeling Authenticity for Our Kids
  • How our real-life actions and choices teach children more than words ever could.

• [01:00]  Parenting and Planting Seeds
  • Understanding it’s not our job to change hearts but to plant seeds and let growth happen naturally.

___________________________________________________________________

✨ Script:

[00:00] Intro. Regretful Posts & the Evolution of Self

Jana:

So today I consider this kind of like Part 2, part one. You talked about me. I don’t know if you got to listen to our recording. But now I’m flipping it back. So it’s like Part 2. I get to hear more about your story in your life. I’m so excited. You have no idea. I have like 7,000 questions. I know I’m not going to make it through all these, but there’s so many different layers of like personal, business, motherhood, I just want to like, conquer all of them. So I’m going to just run through them. And then how it takes us is how it takes us. But I’m so excited to interview you.

Bethany:

Thank you for having me. This is so fun.

Jana:

Yes. And then we’re doing, you know, video recording today. So whatever happens, dogs bark again. At least, my computer is charged. I’ve got all the things. Here comes the puppy.

Anyway, I love… I’m just so inspired by so many things you do. Well, but I know there’s a quote. Someone said years ago, perception is reality, and I hated it. It just always struck the wrong chord with me, and I’m like, No, your perception of reality is not reality. It’s your perception, right? So I know that there’s so many layers to Bethany and your businesses and your family, and all the things. So for me. I’m not a big public figure, but I’m present on social media, and I’ve been trying to figure out a really healthy balance, and I’m still actively learning that. But I want to be informative and advocate, and I see the crave that humans have for genuine and authenticity. But then you start to do that instead of sharing just a highlight reel and then you, I personally have felt repelled. You know I’m repelling to people. So in my own journey. I watch people like you, and I’m like man. She does it so well. She’s totally true to herself. She’s true to her business, and the voice and the brand and the message, and somehow it blends so well, and I know it’s probably not always been that way for you. You know we talked about throwing all the spaghetti against the wall, seeing what sticks, navigating different, you know you’re constantly opening new doors and closing windows. And… so my question to you is, how do you personally decide what words and feelings are sacred to you, that you hold on to.

Bethany:

Hmm.

Jana:

VS. what you feel is important to share publicly, because what you share, then, is all over the Internet. And then how.

Bethany:

This is like, probably the best question. This is like, I’m I’m sitting here like also, like what? This is just such an amazing question, because I feel like, yeah, just like you feel I felt where it’s like, ‘Okay, have I ever?’ And yes, the answer is, yes. You go back to like, you know, the memories on Facebook that just make you feel so. Sad that you had Facebook 15 years ago. Who let me have Facebook. And you just go. ‘Oh, my gosh, I can’t believe I posted that, you know.’ Yeah, that’s me, too, like I have total regrets sometimes about like these stances that I made, I found a, I found a memory that I posted. I think I deleted it because I was like, I do not want to see this every year. And it said literally, this was Bethany before children. Okay, I did not have children. And I said, Never do for a child what he can do for himself. And I’m like, Oh, that’s so wise, Bethany. Wow! You should have kids, and then you’ll realize, like what an idiot you are.

Jana:

Evolution. It’s probably. Cool to be like. It’s so neat. My growth has changed a lot.

Bethany:

Yay! Yeah. And I have compassion for that version of me who had all the answers, because that was nice to live there, and I had all the answers like, I sort of wish I would have written a book then, because that had been a lot easier. Yeah, not really.

Jana: 

I mean, yeah, I you’re in different ways.

Bethany:

Yeah, I would have felt sure. But I feel like there’s just this like thing that happens when you start to grow. And I’m still comparatively young. I’m in my early thirties, like I’m still on the hopefully on the beginning of my life and I’m already changed so much, even in just my confidence in what I what I think I know for sure. I have so much more of an open hand on that that I that I kind of just giggle at, like how the people who’ve been married the longest. And we go to for like, ‘okay, like, what’s the secret?’ They’re the ones that don’t say here’s the answer they give some, oh like, Oh, you know, make eye contact every day, and treat each other with love and respect, and you’re like. Is it really that easy? And I think the wisdom and what they have to say? My hot take on it right now is that they just realized that there are. There’s no real solid, this cookie cutter answer. And so anyone who’s selling that I just have to have my eyebrow because I’m I was that person, too, like I had in in a few business ventures. I even think about like just these stances that I would make, or fundraising for missions trips, and like this, just certainty vibe. But I think right now my grounding principles around what I share is, I believe that I’m called to be me, and what that looks like for me is living in my value of abundance, connected to like a personal state of inspiration. And expressing myself in a vibrant way. And so that’s my filter, in which, if it doesn’t come through that.. and abundance doesn’t just mean like oh, all roses and butterflies, either. Abundance is, my heart is breaking because life is so painful and beautiful. At the same time. Abundance is all of it trying not to talk in too, of terms, but that’s kind of my filter. So when I feel in that state of what I would say is called alignment, of who I am abundant, inspired and vibrant. Then my job gets to be sharing that with the living, that, and sharing that with the world around me. And so when I feel that that’s kind of a habit trigger for me to share on social media. I know I do not believe that, like, you know, there are people who are on social media that believe strongly that everyone should be or shouldn’t be, or anything. I feel like everyone should follow their gut about it. But I feel like God has given me a platform on social media and I get the opportunity to. And it’s not. It’s not like huge, you know. There are people, so it’s not that. But it’s like man. If I had the opportunity. Let’s say across all platforms, let’s say we’re at like 40,000 people. That’s a stadium like that’s like a small stadium. So, I always remind people of that. 

Jana:

So when you think you have a small following, imagine 40,000 people in front of you while you’re standing on stage.

Bethany:

Right? Even 5.

Jana:

Is a lot.

Bethany: 

5 people. Yes. To be in a room with 5 people. Yesterday I was in a room with actually 5 people, and it was just sacred. And it was so beautiful. And like what we shared, there was so special. So 5, it’s yeah. It’s like, not about the number. But I feel that at least at this time in my life, when I, when I have something that I want to share, it, feels like the it feels like a really good move to go on social media with it. But if it’s coming from a place of, and totally, I’ve totally done this where it’s coming from a place of, maybe subconscious like, not really thought through. I would like to feel good about myself, so I’m gonna post something and hope that it gets attention, and I get those likes, and totally done that, too. But that’s not, umm, that’s not what I’m going for. So I try to keep myself in check on that. Like, if I’m going to social media asking for validation of being a worthy human, I’m going to the drug. It’s, it’s a drug. 

Jana: 

It is, it’s become one of the biggest drugs in our society, too. If you do research. You know, people’s attention to their phones has taken over. So it’s quite scary. So then how do you pause, I guess long enough to process like again, this information should go, this shouldn’t, and this is coming from a place of my feelings and my emotions versus this is valuable content that others could be affected by if I share you know what I mean. Like, how do you separate as you’re filtering through?

___________________________________________________________________

[09:05] – The Filter to Use Before Choosing What to Share Online

Bethany: 

Yeah, I guess for me lately it’s changed through the years. But lately my filter is, is this something I’d want my great grandkids to know, because we’re living in like this time of life, where we have preservation tools like we’ve never had before. Your lineage is going to listen to your podcast, and know about their great Grandma Jana. Right. And so, like the gift you’re giving is way bigger than the metrics you see today. What I would give to know my grandparents and their their parents, you know. It would just like to understand where they come from. So I feel like, you know what’s the? It’s Vincent Van Gogh right where he wasn’t discovered. Quote unquote until he was like dead. I think. I’m pretty sure he was like dead before they realized he had great work, and I’m no art critic, so I probably wouldn’t have even been able to say, ‘Oh, that’s great,’ you know, whatever. But I kind of think of it like that. And even yesterday I had this thought that I felt like I wanted to share, and I just kind of intuitively knew, like, it’s not going to land like publicly, most people are not going to understand what I’m saying. And that’s okay with me. Because the great grandkids kind of mindset of no, I really feel like for someone who’s on a search this would help them. And yeah, so that’s kind of the filter I’ve been using lately. And then my sister-in-law gave me this really good bit of advice a long time ago. Probably I was, probably not understanding why she was giving it to me. She probably was seeing me like blast my life on social media, and she was probably like, ‘Hey,’ she’s so sweet, and one of my best friends. But, she said, ‘It’s a sign of maturity to share more scars than scabs.’ 

Jana:

What a quote!

Bethany: 

And I, yeah. And I was like, Oh, that’s really, really thoughtful, like, some things are best. Yeah, there’s, there’s a process. Obviously, I feel like I’m very expressive. I feel like you’re very expressive as well. And there’s this process of just wanting to like journal, and write and speak and share.

Bethany: 

And there’s totally a place, and this is just my hot take on it like there’s a place for that in a space. If you’re sharing, if I’m sharing in a vulnerable place, it needs to be received with compassion. And the Internet just can’t do that.

Jana: 

That’s true.

Bethany: Yeah.

Jana:

True.

Bethany: 

So I don’t know. That’s kind of where I’m at with it.

___________________________________________________________________

[11:53] The Danger of Oversharing ‘Scabs, Not Scars’

Jana: 

Well and really pausing. So a lot of my friends in the past few years, as I’ve been growing through things have said you are a hot wire. Your heart is literally here. So this thing you feel you you want to share, you know. And gosh! I’m such a huge quote person. So I’m going to hold on to what your sister-in-law said. But another thing my therapist said was, you know, go to God, pray, what information if any goes to people, and then who and when you’re putting yourself out there publicly, it’s a lot of people in all corners of the world, with all different perspectives and upbringings, who are going to hear and receive things totally different. So I guess my next question to you is, what is your response to those who might feel repelled by your authenticity. If you’re going through that filter system, and you’re like, is it, you know, going to bring these 3 things? And are my grandkids going to be able to hear this and be proud of me like how? Because there still will be people that are repelled, and they will respond negatively, so how do you like, do you take that personally, or you see it like as a necessary filter I get, or do you just kind of set it aside, and don’t let it affect you.

Bethany: 

Well, you know, when we met like, what was it 15 years ago, or something that’s dramatic? Let’s say we’ve been married for… so for those listening. Jana was my wedding photographer, like she literally took weddings of my, of pictures of the wedding and engagement did an amazing job. I, oh, gosh! I don’t know if it was like naivety or being homeschooled, or what. But I just didn’t really realize that there were critics. I think I just like didn’t understand that people wouldn’t like me. Oh, there’s so people out there right like I remember someone.

Jana:
Oh there’s so many people out there.. I was not homeschooled and I feel that.

Bethany: 

Okay. So maybe it’s more of like a personality thing. I totally understand that makes me sound like such a brat. But yeah, so when I 1st started, even when I look back on social media and like what I’ve shared the memories, you know, it hits me wrong. And I realized that there were probably people reading it, feeling the way that I feel now. But yeah, through, of course, then you get life under your belt and realize that there are people having their own experience. And you, me being the stimulus like, if I’m whoever has the attention is the stimulus for whatever feeling they’re already going to feel. And so it’s either going to be me or it’s gonna be you or it’s gonna be someone else that is comes across their feed and activates that feeling that they’re already feeling dissatisfied with their life, you know, wishing they had whatever, and in this same thing, right and in the same vein, I also am perceiving the world as I feel. So if I look at your, which this wasn’t the case, I thought the picture of you and your boys on the float was like the cutest thing ever. But let’s just say I was feeling, lets just say I was feeling horrible about myself in my life, and I don’t want to be in the Midwest anymore. And I want to be at the beach, and I see that picture, and I’m like ‘ugh!’  That has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with me, and my dissatisfaction in my life. So…

Jana: 

Yes, but that takes so much maturity to understand that. And I think that’s something that about 95% of society doesn’t understand.

Bethany: 

Yeah, yeah, I agree. And I, it’s, it’s sad for for, and I’m I’m in that boat sometimes, too, I have feelings that are, come from a place of dissatisfaction. And then I you know the person in front of me, or the thing in front of me is just happens to be the trigger, and I let’s say I’m not conscious of it, and I just roll my eyes. And I think they’re the problem. That’s a bummer for me, because then I am just living that experience and projecting that into the world.

And yeah, I guess what I have probably one of the biggest social challenges for me, and I’m working on it every single day is if someone does express dissatisfaction or being triggered by by me, or whatever being able to look in their eyes and realize what they’re really saying and have compassion for them. And uh ya…

___________________________________________________________________

[16:00] Stop Taking It Personally: Their Reaction Isn’t Your Responsibility

Jana: 

So much of what you’re saying is so profound. It’s like triggering my own emotions, you know, because that does take so much growth and so much maturity. And we just don’t understand, because we only know what we understand right? We only know our limited view of how we’ve been raised, what we’ve been taught, what we’ve seen, what we’ve felt and what we know. So it’s not until you’re rattled and you’re put in someone else’s shoes, maybe shoes you never thought you’d be in, that, you can now see that other person differently because you’ve experienced it. It’s the whole, you know, ‘in someone else’s shoes.’ But it’s true. It takes you going through a lot of things in life, having a lot of experiences to then have a lot of grace and compassion for people. So maybe someone’s coming at you on social media. I mean, this happened to me recently, and I didn’t even feel any ill feelings about it because I was like, I know this person’s… I know this person well enough. I know their intentions. I know enough about their heart. I know that what they’re trying to say is pure. It just might have been spoken in a way that could have been received differently. But I’m going to pause, and I’m not going to receive it that way. I’m going to see past that right. And so much like, of what you said of when you’re 1st getting online, you just for me, personally, it’s like, I want everyone to understand. And this is a part of my people. Pleasing recovery. It’s like I just want… I kind of want to meet everyone where they’re at. But I can’t possibly do that. So when someone’s coming at me with frustration, it’s like what let’s understand each other. Let’s talk about it, even trying the most graceful, kind, loving, calm way to approach them in the way you feel is going to connect with them. It can still be so repelling, and they cannot hear it. And I’m like, Well, how did this person receive that so different? When I was over here? I did the same thing. I didn’t change who I was.

I responded the same graceful way, but they didn’t receive it… You have to stop taking things so personally, because we don’t know what people are going through ight like you said right? It just takes so much to broaden that vision and, and meet people where they’re at. And just say, it’s okay. It’s okay for you to feel that way. Or it’s okay for me to receive that you’re feeling that way. You might not even be feeling that way. I just might have heard it, and there’s so much between language, body, language, tone. You know, I was researching this the other day. Our tone and our body language is predominantly how we receive information. It’s not even the words we pick. Isn’t that crazy?

Bethany: 

Right? Yeah. And and how many of these conversations are happening on social media, where you cannot see either.

Jana: 

Right or their eyeballs dude, you’re saying so many things. It’s giving you chills, because again it’s so eye-opening it allows you to pause and be like, huh? Okay? So it lets me move forward a lot differently. That’s cool. Okay? So you said earlier, you know, I used to say things that I might regret so. Was there something vulnerable that you shared that was maybe too much, and you later regretted it either about your personal life, maybe your business, anything.

Bethany: 

That’s a good question. I remember spouting off one time on Facebook, like when it was like, What are you thinking? I mean, they literally gave you this prompt. Remember that when Facebook status is, we’re like, What are you thinking? And I spouted off about like how… Because one of our friends had been in love with this girl who she didn’t love him back, and I felt like she, I at the time felt like she was kind of playing him.. and I was like it wasn’t about. I didn’t say her name or anything, but it was just like young women need to blah blah blah, and like even just saying it now, ugh. But yeah, like stuff like that that’s one that sticks out to me because I was just such in a judgmental place, and like thought I needed to, you know. Let everyone know like you know. Religious stuff, like things that I shared from not a pretense of. Hey, this is what I believe, but rather like this is what is right or true. I regret, you know, I don’t like reading those parenting advice before I became a parent. All of that like.

Jana: 

Yearly time hops. Gosh! Dang it!

Bethany: 

Yeah. And then the oh, the last one that I feel, I don’t want to say regret, because it all is part of my story, and I do appreciate all of it. But I just wouldn’t stand by it, I wouldn’t sign my name to it today is, specifically when I got all so excited about network marketing and you know just the idea of residual income and ust went Gung ho! with that. I remember my philosophy around it was that the people who have hacked the code on residual income were somehow like better or wiser in my mind than people who hadn’t. And so I think my intentions were good in the sense that I wanted everyone to have that, you know, be shown the way… But in that I almost. I remember getting a message from a friend of mine, and she said, ‘Like Bethany, somebody has to drive the trash truck like not everybody can be doing this thing that you’re doing,’ and I remember being like you would think that, you know, like you would, you would say that. And now oh, my gosh! do I feel so much remorse around ever minimizing the callings of people. And let me tell you, there’s nothing more powerful, in my opinion, than a teacher who is inspired and enlivened by her work, and connects with children every day and goes there early, stays late, like all that our teachers do, and that’s just one example. An electrician who shows up on time doing quality work that doesn’t burn houses down, a trash truck driver that keeps our roads clean. Every single one of us has a role to play, and the idea of residual income, oh, I’m going to just rant on this like, and I’m not going to spend too much time. But the idea of residual income is another drug that gives us safety and an illusion of safety. If we’re lacking that in our life we go. That can be one way that I personally compensated for like feeling financially scared. And there’s no amount of money that will actually take that fear away. It’s actually like inside of us that we have to heal that and realize that if I’m doing something to try to get away from society, away from the connection of community. I’m trying to get to the beach and be able to live there. That’s actually not, that’s, a that’s fool’s gold. That’s witch’s gold. It is not real. It is real in the sense that you can have all of the metrics. You can have the money. You can have the residual income. Blah blah! But the the fool’s gold is how you think you’re going to feel at that point. And so now I feel more passionate about helping. I feel more passionate about having conversations that inspire people to be alive and excited, and bringing their unique gifts to their work. Whatever their work is, and sure you want to have a house on the side and make residual income great. That, too.

Jana: 

Yeah, you’re giving me goosebumps like crazy today.

Bethany: 

You’re so sweet. You’re such a good interviewer, because I’m like, getting asked questions that I feel genuinely passionate about .. so props to you, Jana.

Jana: 

Oh, good.

Bethany: 

Yeah.

Jana: 

Again. I’ve just followed you for so long, and there’s so many things I’m like how you know when, why, I just I want to know all the pieces of you. And so again, I’ve got a laundry list that we’re gonna have to do like a 5 part series with you.

Bethany: 

Right? Well, yeah.

Jana: 

Well, so another question is do you feel like.. because you’re juggling it all.. You’re running businesses. You’re being a mom. So do you feel like there’s oversharing in business. How do you split the 2? And then how do you move both between the 2? Is there oversharing?

Bethany: 

I think it was in our our interview that you, oh, sorry we might have a delay. I think it was in our interview that you shared this idea of building a business that doesn’t require your face. Was that right?

Jana: 

We have.

Bethany: 

Either we either we recorded it or we didn’t. But I’ve only ever built businesses that used faces. So I realized in that conversation, and Eli’s like his business. We’ve saying this sounds clunky, but like used his face like his business is elishipley.com, you know? It’s not a Generic Handyman company. It’s like his, his name and his face. Yeah. So I don’t know how to do it in another way. And for a while…

Jana: 

Is it because your business and personal life seem so closely together? Or is it because your personal life and your business life seem so perfectly together? You think. Or are there boundaries where you’re like? I will not talk about this in business, and they will  talk about my children, in my business I will not talk about. You know something personal between my spouse and I, or are you kind of an open book?

[26:00] Navigating Sharing Your Story That Involve Others

Bethany: 

Yeah, that’s such a good question. I feel like my, whatever I do in life, like I remember realizing I’m not going to be a doctor. I’m not going to have a career that requires a piece of paper that’s just not going to be me. I realized that pretty early on, just because I realized getting a piece of paper requires being really good at school, and it was too much like, I’m happy to work hard. But it was a lot of work just to… I felt like just to be like, go to college. And so, yeah, it was fine, I’m probably overthinking it. But I when I realized that I found that for me, what I what I’m good at is sharing excitement around something so almost really the affiliate model or the referral model before I really knew that was what was coming. I feel like now, whether it’s because I see it because I’m in it, or it’s really very real. Marketing has shifted from billboards to, there’s obviously so many ways to do marketing, but I feel like big companies are recognizing the power of individual voices more. I think that has a lot to do with social media. But If I were to try to build a business without using my genuine excitement I would have to learn a whole new skill set, which I’d be totally open to. But I just haven’t been drawn to that. So I guess there, there’s obviously ways to do it without, and and for me having the platform where people will listen if I say, ‘Look here, look at this. This is cool.’ I feel like there’s a connectedness that needs to be had between me and whoever I’m talking to, and that connectedness comes from sharing. If my kids get to be 14 and they are like, Mom, you are horrible, you put us online. I’m going to feel really bad about that. Because I hadn’t really considered it until like the last few months, when people are talking about, I won’t be using kids, and I’m like, ‘Oh, my gosh! I never thought of it like that.’ So that may be one of those things I have to step up and just be like, ‘Man, I screwed that up. I’m sorry.’ But no, I don’t. I don’t have any areas that I don’t share. I don’t share. Yeah, like, yeah, there are other. I share my family, and I share our our life. And there was my daughter… we were playing a board game, and she was losing so bad she was crying, and I did like, I got my camera out and I filmed her, and I do feel bad. I didn’t post it, but I’m like, ‘Oh, that would be off limits.’ Like I didn’t post it because it was oh, it was even like a mom fail in the moment. It was kind of like I shouldn’t, I shouldn’t have done that. Yeah. So so there are, I guess. Yeah, appropriate. I don’t know. It’s a hard question to answer, because there aren’t really any areas. And at the same time there are areas inside of those areas.

Jana: 

Yeah, well, and I feel the same way, you know, because again trying to figure out, well, I don’t… I don’t want to show people that my house is perfect all the time, and then I’m a perfect mom all the time. And then all my, I even shared that with a friend recently, I’m like, you’re only seeing how I react with my kids online because it’s the good stuff.. you’re not seeing the hard times behind the scenes. So in my heart, I’m like, well, let’s just be more vulnerable. Let’s be more honest. Let’s be more authentic. I want to show them breaking down, and how I’m not responding well to it. And that becomes really vulnerable. And, like you said, I think, a place that the Internet can’t handle. And also I felt the same way as you in part of my story is these people’s story, and these people like that is what is my story, right? So I get on here, I want to podcast I want to be vulnerable, I want to show all sides of life and show people that  it’s perfectly normal to have bad days, and sad days, and hard times, and hard seasons. But when you do that it kind of feels like a throwing under the bus of the other people that didn’t give consent, especially children who might feel like what you’re doing is fun. But it’s like they don’t really understand the repercussions that come with their own vulnerability online. But that comes through you. And so, as a parent like you said, ‘Whoa, we really need to think about that might be a boundary.’ They didn’t give me a voice, because they don’t really fully get what’s happening when I do share that. And then the responses that you’re having to do about your parenting techniques and things that are, people are projecting onto you, not only on the Internet, but that carries into your real life because a lot of those people following you are probably your real life, family and friends, you know. So now there’s a perspective and a judgment. And while that’s beautiful because your intent is, I want to be genuine. I want them to see this side, too, so that we can all accept that we’re all just messy people trying to do our best through life. All they’re seeing now is just that moment, and they might encompass your whole life with those few moments they see through their own filter and perspective, like you are sharing. So it does get scary, and it is hard to tell your story without involving all the people that are involved in your story. And so again, this is a really hard place for me. Looking at you, I’m like Bethany does it so well and gracefully, but also not right? The reality is like you failed like you, said ‘Oops.’ I didn’t mean to do that, shouldn’t have done that, should have paused, should have slowed down. And I think that’s the beautiful thing about what you’re doing, and what I’m doing is that we’re just deciding to show up in our truest form. And if that affects people wonderful, obviously, you want it to affect them in a good way, if it’s a little more negative like that stinks. But it’s also not your burden to carry everybody’s perception of you. You’re just there to project that joy like you said in a genuine way, and hope to build other people up so that they can  live the same… Yeah. So okay, this goes back to something else. You said.. I’m sorry I’m on a rant here, you have my wheels turning, but…

Bethany: 

Go for it. Go for it, girl.

___________________________________________________________________

[32:00] We Are All Sellers – Rethinking Sales & Marketing

Jana: 

For me, and I think you and I talked about this a bit before, too, but I had to change my whole perspective on marketing and sales because I read this book. And they were saying, I don’t know why we asked, and I think I actually heard this from you a few years ago, and it really impacted me.  It’s like, I don’t know why we act like sales are so scary like, ‘Oh, I don’t want to sell. I don’t want to be someone in my business that sounds like a seller. I don’t want to be a car salesman,’ but really we’re doing that all. Naturally, I go see a movie, and I hit up a new dinner spot, and I’m like, Oh, my! Gosh, Bethany, you’ve got to try this. It was the best pasta. This movie was epic. My kids loved it! We cried, you are selling both the restaurant and that movie. I’m pitching everything that it did to affect me because I want it to affect you in the same way. So that’s why we’re sharing right. And it’s selling. I’m selling you. Because in your mind, ‘you’re like sweet. I should take my kids to do this. Not only are you giving money to now this movie theater., but like the people who made the movie. I am selling that for them. It goes back to the affiliate thing right? So for me, that’s why I wear my heart so loudly, because I’m like man. I came. I am  a well-balanced mom and business owner. Why would I not want other moms to feel de-stressed and experience the freedom of a balanced life because of xyz. So I want to share that because I believe they deserve it, and I want them to have the same benefits right. But that, again, is my perception of what works, and that goes back to me, kind of being that pushy person again of like this is what works. This is what works for me. You need to do that instead of coming from a place. And again, this just takes growth as I’m talking about it even in this moment. With you, I’m like, I feel there’s so much growth for me to even pause and choose the right words to say, well, this is just my story. And this is how this impacted me. Feel free to try it, if you’d like, if not, it’s okay. This is just my story again. This is me showing up, and then, when people don’t feel so much of like the pokey pushy, you gotta do this, and they feel more of the like, ‘Wow! I see. I see how it’s changed her. She’s way more eloquently spoken. I see her slowing down. I see her process like, I see how she’s approaching these things differently.’ And so, because they’re seeing how it’s affected me, they’re then wanting to be a part of it, and all of what I just said. All those many layers, is so much of the marketing and sales world we live in that we don’t even realize we’re living in. Does all that make sense? Or was that just like a big bomb.

Bethany: 

Yeah, it totally makes sense. And I mean, I have gone through this, too. The same loop of like, okay, what’s the difference between selling your product or service in your business and offering someone a stick of gum. nd I used to compare the 2 as if they were apples to apples like, ;Oh, all you have to do is be like you want some?’  And then I realized.. I don’t know… I’m, this is an area I’m still working through because I we were just out of the country, and we were in Sri Lanka, and they had this ring shop across the street from the resort that we were staying at, and gems in Sri Lanka are like 30 times cheaper, apparently, than in the USA. So if you want to get a good gem like, go there. And I went and got this aquamarine ring that I’m obsessed with, and I went right back to the resort, and I started telling everyone you have to go to the ring shop. You have to go. I was like spreading the news, and I told Eli I was like, that’s how I built my business. My, my first, I would say, quote unquote, real business is spreading the news, but where it gets tricky is when there is something in it for you, because there really wasn’t anything in it for me like with the ring shop.. I wasn’t financially benefiting. Now, I ended up financially benefiting because he gave me these blue topaz earrings for bringing so many people in. He was like, ‘You, good for business. Stay here!’

Jana: 

I remember seeing you post about this.

Bethany: 

Yeah, it was. I literally felt like my day was made by his excitement about how much business their ring shop got. But I yeah, when it, when there is something in it for free for me, which is financial, if we have money issues, and I’m kind of also processing this in real time, because I don’t have a solid philosophy on it. But when there’s financial investment to be made and I benefit financially. If I’m hypersensitive about financial benefit. Then it’s going to feel heavier than if I’m not hypersensitive to financial benefit, because the reality is I did get something from sharing the ring. I did get something for promoting, and that was, I got like this connection with this guy, and I got the feeling of I’m helping him. And I got this feeling of satisfaction, for like being good at marketing or whatever. And so I did get something. And so, if I have money in my mind is like a heightened thing like it’s this like, Oh, it’s so much better then, then it makes sense. But I don’t know. I’m also kind of in the same boat with you. On, ‘What are we really doing? Is it okay? Is this moral? Is this yeah…’ So I. But I do think, if you if if yeah, if money isn’t end, all be all, we have to, we have to meet our needs like if we’re good at marketing, if we’re good at sharing something. We have to meet our needs, too, and feed our kids and pay our bills. And so it’s fine to receive a a thank you check for that.

Jana: 

And I think this is an area that a lot of us overthink. Rightfully so… But I remember I’m a huge Lisa Tyrkers fan. I have followed her journey right alongside a lot of my own, and I remember seeing something on a social media post she had made all these positive comments right? And then you pick that one person that’s like, how dare you use this person in your life? You’re telling the story about this person to financially benefit yourself. But what I paused and thought about was, ‘What is the intent behind what you’re doing? I think that, like the root of our intentions is what truly matters. It’s not so much the result of it. It’s what the intention is. So for her, she felt a strong calling to share her story. She has become a writer. A lot of that is sharing her experiences right? Again, like I said, that entails talking about some of the things she’s been through that involve other people. Her intent isn’t to hurt that person. It’s to say this is my story, and how I experienced it and received it. Now because she shared that, and it related to so many people, it just happened to make her successful at selling her story via books, you know, and if people come with that perspective of like, ‘You’re doing this to make money,’ some people might have that intention, and that can be fine for them right, but I don’t feel like someone like her is ill intended. It goes back to what I said about my friend earlier. It’s like I know her heart enough to know that her message is good and her intent is good. Now how we communicate it is different. How, you know, like you had said I did. I did end up getting like a return, but that wasn’t your intent going into it… and maybe but even then it’s like, Well, I’m.

Bethany:
I did have good intentions, too. Yeah.

Jana: 

Yeah. Your intentions are good. You realize your gifts so like in Lisa’s situation, she’s gifted at speaking. She’s gifted at connecting through words, you know you’re gifted at this. I’m gifted at this. So when we’re using our gifts and like what a beautiful thing that can now pay our bills and feed our kids. But I think so many of us are kind of in that shame based mindset where, because of those one or 2 comments, that it’s like, ‘Well, you made money on this, or you’re being an affiliate. The only reason you’re talking about this program is because you’re making money. Obviously, you’re sharing this code. You want to make money.’ No like that’s great that I get to make money because this saves my actual life, and it meant so much to me again. Share it. I want it to benefit you, and great. Now I get to also pay my bills like, why aren’t we looking at that as a beautiful thing? And why are we shaming ourselves because of the 2 people who said, Oh, Bethany, you’re just a marketing schemer whatever. No. You can see it that way. Great! But no, that’s not my heart. It’s not my intention. It just happens to be that because I’m so good at this. And God’s given me these skills. Not only has he given me these skills, I’ve pursued actively, training myself to make these skills better, so that yes, I can reap beautiful benefits in a healthy way, because I’m using them in a healthy way if that makes sense.  

Bethany:

I love that. I love that, having the attention at the like, the forefront of it that makes so much sense. And you’re right. I definitely overthink this topic. Well, we all do.

Bethany:
And again, it’s part of growing and processing and learning, and we’re receiving so much feedback from people that it’s pausing us to be like, ‘What is that? And then but then you’re overthinking things, and there has to be a balance between all of it.

Jana:

Making you laugh. Okay, I have a question about motherhood. So.

Jana:

I have a Q about motherhood. What’s 1 motherhood moment? I think that, or experience that surprisingly taught you a business lesson, and then, vice versa.

___________________________________________________________________

[42:00] What Motherhood Taught Me About Business

Bethany: 

I mean, I feel like it’s every single day. There’s so much every single day that it’s to isolate one. And so I’m trying to find a good, like, maybe a situation. I think the thing that’s most present for me about it is when you become a mom, obviously, you see this child, and you realize there isms, and you realize that they have gifts. And they have, you know of course, every gift comes with weaknesses, too, and they have just this huge like personality in this little bundle. And it’s such a gift. When I see each of my kids I don’t know… I see it as like they’re each like one. I have 4 kids… So they’re 1/4th of my heart, you know, and I know I just like feel… Each of them are on their own path, and are headed in different directions and my job as I see it is to expose them to opportunities inside of their giftedness. So like I need to see their giftedness in order to do that, and then network with people who are, you know, active in in those ways, and I could go on and on about that. But I feel like in business, the lesson there is:

Each of us are wired so differently. And we really are. I believe everyone has gifts and magic about them that is intended to serve this world here like at the time that we were born, wasn’t… I don’t believe, random. I believe we came to this earth with our isms and our gifts and our the ways that we are wired literally becomes a part of this ecosystem, that is. There’s no explanation for how there’s, you know, there’s groups of people that are born. And then all of a sudden. They’re really passionate about saving the bees, and it’s like, ‘Oh, my God!’ As if it was ordained that the bees were going to be in trouble now and then you’re here, and you’re feeling that call like, I don’t think it’s cause and effect. I think it’s literally you were sent here, and this, if Foster care is like, you know, I think of our mutual friend Katie, and how Foster care. And obviously, you know you have. You guys have overlapping journeys there. And just this, Katie came here with this just genuine desire to put her gifts into that arena.

And so for me, the lesson is, if it’s not working for you like business, the thing you’re doing. If it’s not just like in alignment, it’s okay, because maybe there’s like a different role for you here. And sometimes I don’t know. I oscillate between. If it’s not working, work harder, and if it’s not working, find another path. I still feel like there’s a lot of thoughts I have about that. But, the times in business that I have been most alive and most clear are the times that I feel like my gifts are being activated full throttle. And so I guess the lesson there is you can’t teach a fish to climb a tree, and you shouldn’t try.

So if you’re fit.

Jana: 

Yeah. All the quotes today.

___________________________________________________________________

[46:00] The Best Return on Your Time? Pay the Experts.

Bethany: 

Right like. I heard that one time and I will share this… This is Borderline… I don’t think he would mind if I share it. I have a kid who is like oral sensory issue like issues… We’ve done brain balance and the whole shebang trying to get him to eat a dang meal, you know, and food. And this is another parenting philosophy that I they’ll eat what they have on their plate. Yeah, until you have a kid who literally can’t. But anyway, he went to this little preschool where they had food from around the world. It was like every day was like this immaculate meal, and every day he would go hungry, and he wouldn’t eat lunch, and I remember feeling like there was, there were people in my life that would just say things like a few people, you know, just like ‘If he’s hungry he’ll eat. It’s not that hard. Just eat the meal,’ and I’m like you haven’t seen him like literally put it in his mouth, and then gag and throw up and like he’s trying, you know. And so one day I go to pick him up from this preschool and the teacher came out, and she’s like, ‘Oh, my gosh! You’re never going to believe this! He ate, like he took a bite of it was like a pee, and she said the whole school was scream, cheering like everyone was like screaming and cheering for him,’ and I thought, ‘my gosh!’ Like, another kid of mine that would never be something to celebrate, because it’s easy for them. And it’s just like, yeah, they eat everything. They’re like their mom. They eat everything on their plate, and you know, it’s like, not a struggle. But that unique struggle is it was, It’s not apples to apples. We can’t pretend, like everyone just should be good at marketing because not everybody is wired that way, and that’s a gift. So I guess that’s the biggest lesson that I think about a lot when I’m talking to someone, because when I used to come into a conversation it was, ‘Gosh! You know, if I want you to do what I’m doing like I can help you do what I’m doing.’  And now my conversations are different. It’s like, tell me about you. So we can figure out like, what about you isn’t activated. And then let’s get you in a place where that can be activated because you have a unique designed role here. And we need you.

Jana: 

So beautifully said, and in our entrepreneurship I can never say that word in our.

Bethany: 

Can we just like rewrite the word and spelling it? It’s awful like if you are. I don’t know how to spell it, and I cannot.

Jana: 

I can’t say it. I’m like, what’s another word? ..In our small business journey, so much of everything that we’re figuring out is just put on all the hats. Put this one on and this one and this one. We’re the salesperson. We’re the design team. We’re the website managers. We’re the social media market, and we’re not meant to do or carry all that. And for me and my own business. I’m like man, I tried to do this, this is not a gift of mine. I can pay you to do what you’re gifted at. You can be a blessing to my business. I’ll be a financial blessing to yours. We both win.

I gain so much of my time back. The return on my time allows me to spend time where I am gifted, which then makes me more money. It’s like this beautiful cycle of all of us winning. So I think again, when we are naive and aren’t recognizing our own gifts and what we bring, and someone else’s gifts, and how we can collaborate. I am a huge collaborator. I’m all about empowering people to do like you can do anything you put your mind to. I believe it. But also you shouldn’t be doing all the things we put our mind to. We were made for community, and the society should be working like you said, ‘We’re all in this together,’ and if this person wasn’t doing their gift specifically over here. And this person wasn’t doing specifically this gift, we would all crumble apart. We don’t even realize that because in our minds we’re like you should be able to fix your house and mow your yard and raise your kids and fix all the meals from scratch, and and when we do that it’s impossible. No!

Bethany: 

Don’t forget, to work out.

Jana: 

Yeah, right, eat right. Make time for your friends. ‘Oh, and you have hobbies.’ So 15 min a day to do each of these is. No, it’s not hard at all right. That just equals 76 h when you take 15 min of everything you should be doing, and I share this a lot as a single mother, too. I’m like, I ask people for grace all the time, especially when critics  are around, because again, their intention is not to be critical, but it might just be. It might just be that they’re like, Oh, well, that’s again well intended. But like that’s really easy to fix like I could do that in a few minutes, just you should do it. And I’m like, Yeah, I’ve learned to really not like that phrase, because while I can do that, and that does take just 5 min… I also have 5 min, 5 min, 5 min, and it’s like, ‘What are my priorities?’ And it might be my kids, my kids, health, my building of this podcast, my connecting with other people. I’m going to let my vent sit next to this open hole on my floor for 6 more months, so that I can interview Bethany and be more intentional about building something that’s more impactful. So, once we can recognize we all have those gifts, and you see it in your kid, and you see it in your contract workers or employees, and then you let them.. Not only is the let them… I’m sure you’ve heard a lot about that, but when you let other people just also be who they are, with their gifts and not be so like you said, ‘Well, you should be able to do this way, so let’s make you like me.’ No. Let you be you. Let me be me. And we’re all gonna beautifully do this well woven, designed life together. But that takes a lot of growth and recognition and conversations like this to gain different perspective. And it’s just so beautiful. So I’m going to segue right into my next question. Have you involved, or do you feel like you want to involve your children in your entrepreneurial journey? Do you want to involve them in what you’re doing? Or are you going them pave their own paths or…

___________________________________________________________________

Bethany: 

It is such a good question. I mean, we Eli and I are always talking about like how parenting is. Just so it’s the wild wild West like, you know, you get to this age with kids. And you’re like, ‘Oh, wow! Okay. I actually realized my mom was a 1st timer, too. She didn’t know what she was doing either.’ I have so much more grace for all the things I’ve been hyper, hypercritical about. But yeah, if like we’re starting to see gifts like our oldest son is off the charts in math. He did not get that from me. I’ll tell you that right now, he’s just really, really statistically it’s about data and statistics like that portion of testing, he’s just blooming. And it’s showing up in other ways, too, and just his analytical mind. So when I look at what I’ve built and what I’m building and what Eli is doing that doesn’t really fit in, to either of those that I see. So if he wants to like work for us in the summers, that would be awesome. But my thought is, you know, I’m always thinking of… ‘How can we be getting them more experience where their gifts are?’ And so one of the things like an idea that I have. We have like a field that we don’t use for anything, and I’m like man, if we went out and planted Christmas trees like baby seeds right now in 6 years that’d be enough to pay for a car. You know things like that that I would love for them to be working, even if it’s not like their gifts, you know. I think there’s a such a value in just digging digging the ditch like, yeah, okay, you’re not a ditch digger, but you grab the shovel and learn. And I think that life lessons like work hard, even if it’s not perfectly aligned. So let me be clear with like that. I totally believe  in learning how to work hard, even in especially in ways that you’re not good at. But but yeah so Moses in particular, I don’t see it yet, but I’m I’m all about just continuing to explore that Lenin however,  we didn’t realize she started a Youtube channel. And she’s 8. So like, that’s probably not great. I’m like airing our dirty laundry. She has, like hundreds of videos out like she films like, I’ve seen her on her phone filming herself, but I had no idea. And so she’s kind of like, definitely, just naturally following in… It’s wild, Jana I, when we found it, she wasn’t hiding it, she just didn’t think it was like she’s just kind of doing her own thing, so I could totally see Lennon… you know, building… she’s out there selling lemonade in the summer, you know. She’s she’s got the transaction kind of mind all this to say.. We have 4 kids, and I won’t go through each of them. But yeah, I think there are times where I’ll go. Oh, yeah, this is an idea of how their gift could plug into what we’re doing. We’ll just see what happens. I think it’s good to get experience either way.

Jana: 

Let me just say how beautiful it is that you just all I heard on repeat was. I want to allow space for my kids to be fully them in whatever gifts that looks like, but also to recognize your awesomeness as a mom, a partner, an individual.. like they’re watching. It’s gonna be tear up.

Bethany:

.. this gets me to Jana. I’ll be crying right there.

Jana: 

I mean, you might. You might be giving them that space for freedom to be them. But you’re also a great role model that they’re watching. And then they’re picking the things they love about you and the gifts that you have that you’re teaching them whether you realize it or not. And then they’re like, I like that. And I, I feel like I can do… And then they’re rolling with that. And you’re letting each of them do that in their own unique way. But like what a gift again that you’re living out such a wonderful role model position for them and giving.

___________________________________________________________________

[56:00] Modeling Authenticity for Our Kids

Bethany: 

Thank you, and I mean, I know you know this. I just have to say to Caveat.. there are times where they watch me do things that are not role model. ‘Oh, darn it!’ But also there are times, you know, like, you’re this way, too, probably. Everywhere you go you make friends, and they see me make friends like in real life, in public. And you know the whole like Mom, did you know her? You know that? And I see that moment, Jana, where you just explained like they’re seeing… That’s where I feel I am modeling in, because they don’t really come out here with me a ton, you know, they don’t see this kind of thing, but they do see.. Yeah, they do see me being me so like whether, if you’re you know, everyone who’s listening like, whether you have your own business or not the power of you being modeled like they get to see the way you live, and that is so cool.  And and you, too, Janet, like your your kids, are seeing you prioritize what matters? And realizing ‘oh, my gosh! She’s doing that for us! We matter to her enough to outsource?’ And yeah, it’s so cool.

Jana: 

It is. I mean, in the same way, people that aren’t even in our family online, they’re watching you, you know. So words matter how you carry yourself matters, which is a great reminder to go back to the beginning of this interview, you know it’s like to really pause and find your 3 or 4 pillars, and then, if it’s not filtering through those, I’m not doing it. I’m not saying it because everything matters. People are watching. So what I’ve heard a whole bunch on repeat with you today is that we learn and grow so much by experience, which is accurate. But for me, I’m like how, as a note taker, I’m the kind of person that’s like, ‘Can I just not have to go through all the hard things and know how to just avoid all that or be good at that.’ So I’m always watching people like what are kind of like what I just said your kids are taking… I love that mom does that. I don’t like that. Yeah, I don’t want to do that. I want to be like that. So is there. Do you think that there is a way for any human our children or people that are listening in? And they want to know all these, you know, tips and tricks,,. Is there a way for us to have more grace for people without experiencing things first. B ecause for me, personally, I’ve got a just in own journey recently. It’s like man now that I’ve experienced that I have a whole perspective shift. But is there a way that we can have a perspective shift, more grace, more compassion, and have a better understanding for exactly what you and I just talked about for an hour without having to go through it? Because for me, that’s kind of why I started this podcast I wanted to be a survival guide, because that’s how I love to learn. Maybe somebody else wants to avoid all the hard things, and obviously like there’s beauty in the heart.

Bethany: 

Right. Save me the trouble.

Jana: 

That’s where we’re growing our most. But I mean, in reality none of us want to hit storms and almost drown to have to learn hard lessons. So from your perspective. If you were talking to your kids right now, what could you say to them that you think would allow them to see Grace from a bigger perspective before they learn themselves.

Bethany:

Yeah. Such a good question.

Like I’m gonna say it. I wouldn’t say it like what.

Jana: 

I said, it might not even be one that we can answer honestly right. How do we learn before we learn? Cheat code is maybe what I’m asking for.

___________________________________________________________________

[01:00] Parenting and Planting Seeds

Bethany: 

Well. And I think personality so plays into this because I have, like certain kids that would love the cheat code. And then certain kids that are just gonna go through it like they’re gonna try the drink, like I just know, based on who they are. They want the life experience of  feeling it all so that they can feel at all. Yeah, there is. And then there’s kids like, I would say, I’m similar to what you described yourself, being where it’s like ‘I would like to not hurt. So you tell me what I need to know.’  But I think when either way.. what I believe is like when we’re ready, the teacher appears. When the student is ready, the teacher appears, and that’s like an ancient, you know, philosophy. But there, there could have been someone 15 years ago that came to me and said, ‘Hey, maybe don’t post about this or that,’ and I wouldn’t have heard them, because I wasn’t a student of that at the time. Yeah. So maybe you know, maybe these curriculums that were being offered are going to be offered either way or they’re always being offered. And it’s whether we’re ready to take that class.  I think the power of the perspective that I hope to carry all the time. Is that like it’s all unfolding for me… It’s giving me opportunity always, and I’ll share this with you. I know we’re wrapping up here, but like I was on a plane.. it was not yesterday, the day before, and I got delayed in Chicago, and we’re sitting on the runway. I’m looking at my, you know, next flight… I’m like, I’m not going to make it. I’m literally there’s just no way that I’m in. They’re closing the doors in 3 min. I’m a 5 min walk, and I haven’t even deplaned. I can either be like hyper fixated on the fact that I missed my flight. I’m not gonna make it. I’m disappointed, or I can just be like this is happening for me for some reason. So I’m going to look around and just pay attention really quick to the person beside me or the situation. And I got a text right then that said, Are you available for an SOS call? And I was like, Yes, actually, I am. And so like this belief that this is all happening for me allows the curriculum to be accepted instead of you know, instead of repelled. And so, whatever storms we go through, and I can’t even.., It’s not apples to apples you’ve been through, you know so much and much of it I can only relate with from a sympathetic perspective, like I don’t. I’ve never been through it, you know, but I do… I have been through grief in my own way, so I can relate with that emotion, and you know I think of for me probably one of the hardest things that I’ve been through in terms of feeling. Loss is miscarriages, and in those moments of, ‘Man this is really sad. I’m not happy, it happened, but also what is here for me? What is the lessons inside of this?’ And if I am willing to have the courage to look at that lesson and  accept the lesson as well as the pain. It’s not like because of the lesson it like made it right. It’s not. It can’t be like that, because it’s always both sides: painful, severely sad, disappointing, and also ‘oh, my gosh, if that wouldn’t have happened, I wouldn’t have become obsessed with hormone health which I wouldn’t have started my 1st like real business, and then I wouldn’t have blah blah blah. I wouldn’t have social media today.’ So like, I can’t really say it wasn’t a lesson, because in a curriculum. So I guess that’s the perspective I’d want to leave my kids with is, you can either take it and and just say I’m gonna take it. And I’m gonna let it like completely overtake me. And I’m gonna ride the wave and learn the lesson. Or I’m gonna, you know, defend and be hard and not curious. And one of those experiences is a lot better.

Jana: 

Yeah. I will tell you, too, from a trauma perspective, just with all my education on that… If we try to avoid going straight through the storm and we don’t feel it. Our body is going to hold on to it. We might feel like we’re moving through something in our minds, but our body is storing it, and it’s going to come out at another time in diseases or triggers that we didn’t realize like. Why are we responding this way 10 years later, you know. So a lot of it is just sitting in the storm and shifting your perspective, ‘Yeah, this sucks like I’m drowning. I’m choking this, you know, whatever it is like, we’re overboard. At this point we are sunk. I don’t know what to do. This is scary. I’ve not had to navigate this,’ but it’s a perspective shift, and when you’re in it there is nothing worse you can say to someone than like, this is either what God intended, which is horrible. Because God never intends for anything bad to happen. He’s actually making the beautiful rainbow after the storms. He knows the storms are inevitable because of the world that we’re in. So it’s not his intent to like, hurt or punish so that we can learn. But that’s happening. So if we can pause, which is the by far hardest thing you can do when you’re in the middle of something horrible is to stop like you said, and be like, who around me like, who, what can happen in this moment? How am I being utilized? How can I? How can I make a difference in this very moment, instead of getting pissed off and pushing people in the aisles to try to run to the plane and throw a fit. And now I’ve pissed off these people who might have just lost their so and so. And they’re flying to the funeral. And it’s like, now we’ve spiraled in this negative impact and this energy that we’ve projected on everybody. But, like I said, there’s nothing harder when you’re in it to be like, ‘Be fine. It’s okay. You’re strong. You’re gonna get through it.  But when you’re out of it, and you can see, now again, there’s a lot of trauma therapists that are like, ‘What doesn’t kill you actually gives you, like a wrecked nervous system and a whole lot of. But it really does make you more resilient, more tough, more open-minded, more. You have a lot more compassion for people.  It’s a whole lot and girl I could talk to you for hours about. I have so many questions, and I know that. Yes, we are wrapping up. I do want to kind of close out here. I posted this yesterday, so I pulled it up on my social media. But I just love so much all of your I don’t even get to do this with you that often. So I feel really honored that I get to sit here like really pick your brain. But I watch.. you know it’s kind of creepy, right? Someone from the outside watching your life. And I think again, you kind of wrapped up today the beautiful like, you’re kind of the farmer, right? We have this book. It’s called. It’s gonna be okay by Lisa Turkhurst. How cool is that? It’s about the farmer who’s planting the seeds right? It’s not his job to do anything else, just to plant the seeds. So when you’re talking to your kids when you’re teaching them those life lessons.It’s not your job to do the growth part. It’s just to plant the seed. So this post I posted yesterday. It’s from the Christian psych. Np: Your job is to plant the seed, not change the heart. Don’t get your role and God’s role mixed up! And that is so huge to understand as a mother especially, or an entrepreneur when working with clients. It’s not our job to like push and guide people through

what we feel like is the best version of them. It’s our job to just plant those seeds, and then just let life beautifully unfold and parenting and business. And I think you have a really healthy perspective on all of that. So thank you for sharing so much of your wisdom like, I know it’s hard to be vulnerable, but so much of that vulnerability, again, is what’s going to help others who are listening in. And they’re like ‘Dang, like. Now, I can think differently about this, which is going to project me into a gift I might have.’ And I just think that’s so beautiful. So, thanks for your time. I could do this a hundred more times.

Bethany: 

Thanks for having me. Thank you so much for having me. It was so much fun and. Yeah, just thank you for having me, and thank you, for you know, opening up your space and being willing to follow whatever you know, the the thing that you’re being called to. We we appreciate it.

Jana: 

Yeah, you, too. Thanks, Bethany. Have a wonderful day.

Bethany: 

Okay.

Jana: 

Bye.

Thank you all for listening to the Dream Doers Podcast!

💬 We’d love to hear your favorite takeaway in the comments below. Tag us @thedreamdoers.podcast and @bethanyshipley so we know to chime in!