Show Notes for Episode 002 of the Dream Doers Podcast: “Defining Dreams & Success, Your Way!”
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Episode Highlights:
• Breaking Free from the Pressure to Conform
Explore how society’s narrow view of success can lead to burnout and comparison, and why it’s so important to define success on your own terms.
• Embracing Unmonetized Dreams
Learn why unmonetized dreams matter just as much as financial success and how they can lead to fulfillment, peace, and a more authentic life.
• From Passion to Purpose
Hear how personal passions can transform into sustainable business ventures, and why you don’t need to sacrifice your true self to succeed.
• Letting Go of Comparison and Guilt
Discover the power of saying “no” to good things in order to make room for greater opportunities and the freedom to follow your own path.
• The Power of Permission
Get empowered to dream and live differently by giving yourself permission to create a life that aligns with your values, not societal expectations.
• Your Homework Assignment: Find What Lights You Up
A practical challenge to help you identify what truly ignites your passion and turn it into something meaningful in your life.
Episode breakdowns:
[00:00] Intro – From Silence to Calling: The Heart Behind the Mic
[04:43] Whose Dream Are You Living? Deconstructing Hustle Culture & Embracing Your Own Path
[12:00] Society’s Narrow View of Success
[16:53] Peace Over Pressure: Breaking Up with Productivity Guilt & Valuing Un-monetized Dreams
[25:12] From Passion to Purpose: Turning Personal Dreams into Sustainable Business Success
[27:10] Breaking Free from Comparison & Guilt: Saying No to Good Things for Greater Things
[28:45] Your homework assignment to find what truly lights you up!
[31:26] Permission to Live Differently: Embrace Your Unique Path & Create Your Own Success
[00:00] Intro – From Silence to Calling: The Heart Behind the Mic
Welcome back dream doers! A quick recap of my very first podcast episode last week: I shared a bit of who I am, where I’ve been and why I even created this podcast. Sometimes I think it’s hard to want to take advice from people in your personal journey or business endeavors if that person hasn’t been in your direct shoes. So I shared a bit about my very own trenches… really, you name it, I’ve probably been through it at this point, and how I’ve come out, and am coming out, on the other side way stronger, more healthy, more balanced and happier than I’ve been in over a decade. Thank you good Lord, literally.
I would like to thank you all again for allowing me this very bizarre space on the Internet. If I’m quite honest, I have done a lot of things, but nothing has terrified me more than this. There’s something about knowing that anyone can tune in from anywhere in the world and all the judgments that is about to come my way is quite terrifying. But I believe it’s more important really, to push past my fears, create a space of vulnerability and honesty from personal to business, because I believe the message behind this podcast is more important to me.
Isn’t it so cool how there are so many layers to us as people?… for those who don’t know me yet, there will be days you will listen in and I will be totally cool, calm and collected in my deep thoughts. But other days I might be a total goof ball or have some pretty fiery passion and energy. So as you grow with me, you’re going to hear all the layers of this passionate girl I’m sure.
If you haven’t heard somewhere through the grapevine, I’ve actually never listened to a podcast before. 😂 I began listening to a podcast about 8 years ago and listened to about 10 minutes of it, but once trauma hit from so many angles, all of the self-help books, all of the podcast recommendations, all of the healing music, the therapies, the support groups, what felt like thousands of conversations with lots of mentors, therapist, or friends, started to feel even more overwhelming than peaceful. So I found myself really, sitting in the car in silence anywhere I went. I didn’t even realize I hadn’t turned on any music until I arrived. But the noisiness of kids, all the chaos and non stop of the world, I really just had to cut out all the noise period. What I really needed was to sit in the quiet with Jesus. My EMDR therapy always brought me back to Jesus. And I realized he was the very best medicine. So instead of listening to all of your recommendations (sorry) for amazing podcasts, I found myself instead of laying in the hammock in the backyard, staring up at the branches blowing in the wind, listening to the birds, taking nature walks with my dogs, sitting in silence, sitting in my pain and continually giving it back to God.
It was in the silence that I really began finding my truest self again.
So you might be wondering then, how did a podcast become a part of a big or small dream for me? Well, launching myself into the YouTube world and the education world a few years back, began my inspiration. Then, after what felt like hundreds of hours of conversations with people hearing the same thing on repeat, “Jana you need to write a book or start a podcast.” Well.. I prayed about that and God continued to tell me to keep speaking up. To tell my story and be a survival guide for others. So, here we are. You really can’t go wrong friends.. if Gods the captain of your ship. And if it’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that it’s easier for Him to steer a moving ship than one that is sinking in the sand.
[04:43] Whose Dream Are You Living? Deconstructing Hustle Culture & Embracing Your Own Path
I’m real excited about episode two here. Today’s topic I’ll be discussing “Defining Your Dreams and Successes, YOUR way.” Everyones dreams look totally different and that’s 100% ok. Please know this.
You might be asking yourself though, “Jana, what does defining your dreams your way even mean?
You know how when you’re in different seasons of your life you seem to hear a lot of the same questions repeated over and over to you? Like when you’re in high school everyone’s asking about where you’re going to go to college and what you’re going to play or major in. And then when you’re in college people are always asking you where you’re going to work or what you’re going to do after college. And then Heaven forbid you can’t even date because then everyone’s asking you when you’re going to get married, and by your second date I swear people are already beginning the conversation about when you’re having children!
So past all of those seasons and entering into adulthood where all of those things have already happened it’s like people don’t know what else to ask about you.
The last 10 years or so I started to hear on repeat, the very first question out of anyone’s mouth when they saw you was, “Hey how are you, are you busy?” Now to be fair most people in my world’s knew that I was a very active person and they knew I was building and running a photography and Photobooth business. So maybe this isn’t the same for everyone else but for me it was starting to drive me bonkers. Why? Because anytime I said “No,” to them, through this very important season I was learning to slow down in, everyone gasped as if something was terribly wrong and automatically assumed that I wasn’t successful because of that answer. But my follow up was always, “And it’s wonderful.” So followed by their funny expressions of confusion, people heard me, but I don’t think they really understood. The more I started speaking up about true peacefulness and new goals for my life I think it really started to shift the minds, most definitely of some of my entrepreneur friends. For me it was about working smarter, not harder which people say often but do we really intentionally pursue working smarter so that we can make the same amount of money and do less so that we can bring that balance between personal life and business life?
The societal pressures around success—how we tend to equate success with productivity, the hustle culture, or financial gain, I’d love to really deconstruct with you all….
Because I was that person who was molded by those society views. Also, truly, I do love to have my hands in the dirt, actively participating in community events and family relationships and going and doing. I truly am happiest when I’m with people. However… growing up with a mother who, in her wisdom, told me 1001 times in my teenage years that I needed to make time for myself and slow down, I refused to listen. Look, I had my quiet time with God and the rest of the day I had big goals to conquer. You can sleep when you’re dead was my mentality. I really began chasing dreams and goals early on in life. But even in that season of rebellion and my lack of appreciation for stillness and balance, my body was affected. If I wasn’t going to slow down, the only way God could slow me down, was by giving me the flu and mono, and anything else on top of each other to make my body and my mind rest. I remember going to college classes for eight hours a day, then running across campus to volleyball practice, to then hop into my car with a packed lunch box and my Referee gear to head to high school or college basketball game to officiate to then go home finalize a project for the next day, sleep a few hours and wake up and do the whole thing again. Personally, I loved it at the time. Could I have thrived more implementing a better balance of rest and doing? Of course. But this is my story here so stick with me.
And if you are truly living this way in this season of life. I just want to tell you there’s better ways of doing it. Because I don’t want this to lead to burn out for you, or mental health issues, or for your body to start breaking down because really that’s good for no one. It’s not good for you, your families, your business or your clients and that can lead to a lot of destructive things.
If none of that could slow me down, there’s one thing that could. Children. Oh for sure. This girl went from staying up in the Mac lab and art Studios in college with my friends until 2 or 3 AM working on projects, never going to bed before midnight. This creative night owl that I am and once kids came along, I laugh so hard because if any of my friends from my young adult life, my past life, knew now how often I fell asleep with my kids putting them down at 8 or 8:30pm they would fall off their chairs laughing. I had to start actually getting ready for bed with them so if I fell asleep with them then at least my teeth would be brushed, and my pajamas would be on. And maybe I’d be in a comfortable place instead of on my couch or chair. Ohhh.
Do you know what else will slow you down? …..Trauma.
Listen, as much as I thought I was a good listener to God and I followed his guidance as much as I could, with the wisdom I had at the time, there was still so much noise!
In my first episode, I talked about how much I had to start untethering from things and people that weren’t going in the direction I was going or being a healthy supporter for me or my children.
This episode #002, let’s dive in even a little deeper into how dreams can shift and that it’s OK.
[12:00] Society’s Narrow View of Success
The problem is, is that society tends to glorify career achievements, business growth, financial wealth—as if that’s the only way to be successful.
I now disagree.
The pressure to always be striving—whether in business, or motherhood, or personal life—can lead to burnout, and comparison, feelings of inadequacy… and to be honest, for so many, it can lead to straight up depression, which then affects your body and every other way you function. Amirite? Which then seeps into all of the things we are caring for: your pets, your children, your partnerships… even your business whether we think so or not.
Especially if we aren’t doing life the cookie cutter way everyone says we should be. You know, like those big over the top first birthday parties for your kid with bounce houses and Photo Booths and celebrities showing up, or businesses that are on every single platform you can name doing every single thing possible not honing in on anything but just doing everything and being overwhelmed. Partnerships, not dating your spouse every week and getting dolled up every morning and doing elaborate things traveling the world together.
…..this narrative can make people feel like their actual dreams aren’t valid or even important at all if they aren’t following society’s standards for success. I hear it all the time. And personally I was that person because again I used to enjoy that.
My question to anyone listening is: Why do we undervalue dreams that aren’t monetized? Think about that for a minute. You can monetize anything anymore. Which is amazing actually! Everyone under the age of 40 wants to be an influencer or something, and you can probably figure out a way to make money doing it, which is so great… actually. Because in my love for encouraging others to chase their dreams and find freedom in running their own businesses as entrepreneurs, that really opens the doors for people to be able to do anything they want.
But success does not always equal money. Look at all of the people in Hollywood who have struggled with depression, which has even led to suicide. Some of the richest millionaires and billionaires in the world are dying with little people by their bedside because their life’s successes revolved around the idea that if it wasn’t monetized, then you weren’t successful. Did they pave ways? Yes. Did they create new systems for how our world functions? Yes. Do they provide a product or something that benefited us? Yes. But those also come with a cost. Not only is no program or no product or service perfect, but to expense your happiness for the greater good of making money is what our society pushes for.
We love to live to work here in the United States. Instead of working to live.
I AM a firm believer in generational wealth though. I’m a firm believer in being good stewards of our money. God even talks about that in the Bible. As well as anyone of you would say, I can say that if I won the lottery or if God gave me all the success and money, sure I could give it back to so many people in need and I would be a good candidate for that with such a big heart for servanthood. Of course it would feel so much better to not carry the stress of some bills not being able to be met each month. But even in the midst of two people wiping almost clean, my finances and attempting to ruin my credit and savings I have been building since I was a child, I still found peace and happiness, in all of the things, and none of those things were monetized.
When you shift your perspective, it’s amazing how everything changes.
Now I did have multiple self-sustaining, well oiled machines of business that were keeping me afloat, so you’ll have to subscribe because that is stories for another day and another episode.
But in the midst of it, I was successful!
The dream I had been praying since I was 15 years old about finding my children somewhere in the world who needed an amazing mother had come true. Daily prayers were answered, and they were cuddling right into my arms in the present. Dreams of mentorship and the wild support system I was experiencing almost every literal hour of the day every day. They helped me remain in character and my faith, thank God he never wavered in all that he was doing. He made me a warrior. Those dreams I was actively experiencing and none of that was monetized, you all. And those were the things that brought me the most joy.
God (and my dog with a handful of angels) never left my side. God always directed me and provided exactly what I needed and the exact moment I needed it. That is more successful to me than any other business endeavor I could have embarked on.
….let’s truly think about the guilt that comes with choosing a simpler life for a minute.
I started to experience that from others. Almost an underlying shame to not be out hustling like I was before. But it was a new sort of hustling as any of you mothers know.
I was at peace, allowing this season of my life to come to a close, to now make space for the doors to new dreams, to open.
The main problem here is that we tie our self-worth to productivity.
Sometimes the best way we can be the most successful is by doing less.
[16:53] Peace Over Pressure: Breaking Up with Productivity Guilt & Valuing Unmonetized Dreams
What if success isn’t just about more—but about alignment with what makes you truly happy?
Some people dream of running businesses, others dream of being fully present at home, homeschooling their kids, having flexibility, or traveling.
It’s about impact, not just income.
Let’s normalize dreams that prioritize peace, family, creativity, freedom, personal fulfillment.
But truly, I don’t even want this episode to be about pushing you for a more peaceful life or more time spent in your personal life, those are just examples of what that balance looked like for ME these past few years and how much success began to change for me through these seasons.
I was thankfully able, prior to kids, to dedicating all of my time to building my business. And thankfully I did because when kids came along, I could dedicate my time to my family, my home and also my business without losing any of what was important.
You might be in the season of life where you want to be hustling and go go going and that is OK too. There is a season for everything. That’s part of what allows us to grow and experience things to even know WHAT we want to be doing with our time and finances.
Pouring yourself into education, going to all the networking events and making good connections, getting out there, saying yes to a lot of things…. all of that is a part of what it takes to become successful to an extent, yes. I just truly think no one thing should dominate another or you expense the other, and I watched things in my own life take the back seat and suffer a bit depending on which thing I was investing more of my energy into.
Life became all about balance for me. And that was my word for 2024. 2025 it’s all about implementing. Now that I’ve navigated so much, I can pause and truly be intentional about what, and WHO deserves my time, energy, or finances. In all of my worlds.
And side note: in my cringing of hearing the phrase, “Are you busy?” all the time, I can say with 100% confidence that *being too busy* for something is an excuse.
Look, we all get the equal amount of time in a day to choose exactly what we put all our time and money. Not having enough money for something a lot of times is an excuse. We can all cut back on that Starbucks for sure. Or those $600 hair appointments or $100 a month nail appointments.
I know all too well. There were times during the darkest of the storms that I had to rely on other sources for support financially and cut back on anything for me, sacrificially. I had to find new free ways to entertain my kids. It was covid. But what a beautiful thing, again, that perspective shift… that only got us outdoors more riding bikes, hiking, going to the lakes to swim or fish or paddleboard after school in the spring and summer and making game nights with neighbors and friends or pickleball in the back yard, or bonfires.
So what does success look like for you?
I challenge you to sit in those thoughts. Write down what truly lights you up, in order. Be honest with yourself. Once you gain that clarify, that’s when you can truly begin to figure out the direction of your dreams. Both personally and in business.
What I mostly want to emphasize is how everyone has different dreams and none are right or wrong. …what is best for you and your life in this season that you’re in, for your future seasons?
Making money or not, spend time there. And everything else will follow appropriately.
It’s OK to begin something and then shortly after realize that’s not where you want to be spending your time or energy. Remember when I said it’s easier to steer a ship that’s already moving than one that’s sinking in the sand?
Along with wanting to do educational courses for entrepreneurs in my JanaMarie.co brand, I thought I also wanted to have a membership for my Photo and Template shop but a few months into that I quickly realized that was not where I wanted to spend my time. There is too much of a demand to show up daily and especially weekly and I just couldn’t sustain that. I wanted something that would work more evergreen for me so that I could spend my time elsewhere like with my kids. I began to focus on courses, but even then I had to pause on courses because so much shit hit the fan in my personal life. Pausing is OK. I sort of shamed myself through that season, but I knew my ministry was now at home and I needed to keep my family healthy and prioritize them over anything else and let my current business run and operate the way it always has before adding new things. Now that I have come back out of that season for the most part, I can begin focusing back on my courses and my podcast.
[25:12] From Passion to Purpose: Turning Personal Dreams into Sustainable Business Success
One of my dear friends, I admire her so much, for her spunkiness and her silliness, for her passion for nature and sustainability, for her laughter, for her good conversations about God…all of it. A couple days ago we were Marco Polo with a small group of mamas, and I heard such a beautiful outpouring of her heart and what she felt was bringing her the most success in her life and how a lot of that was being a part of nature. Her goals are to be able to look out her window and see all of the foliage and natural living, abundantly. She has a collection of beautiful snakes she wants to build a business so she can help educate people on it. She wanted to have chickens and a chicken coop, and fresh vegetables she could go pick outside, before dinner. That to her, was success, and I love that. Now that is something too that she’s so passionate about in her personal life and what a beautiful thing that the things we love most, we can then also turn into businesses that sustain us. So the way that we function from personal to business is carrying our truest self between the two AND we’re making a living on it. And we’re building that generational wealth for our children and our children’s children. It’s just such a beautiful thing.
So remember, success could mean:
- Being the mom who shows up fully and present.
- Having time freedom rather than financial abundance.
- Prioritizing your health and emotional well-being over hustling.
- Living simply and saying NO to more.
[27:10] Breaking Free from Comparison & Guilt: Saying No to Good Things for Greater Things
What things do we need to let go of in our life, to make space for what truly lights us up?
How do we stop comparing our journey to others?
Recognizing when societal conditioning is influencing our thoughts is so important.
Instead of “I should be doing more,” ask, “Am I happy with what I’m doing?”
Take pride in your version of success. It is your life, your story, you are waking up every morning living every minute of your day, so where do you want to truly spend your time, energy and your finances?
And then own your dreams without seeking outside validation.
Do you remember how earlier in this episode I was saying that almost anything in the world can be monetized anymore? It’s the weirdest and most bizarre thing.. It can be a curse, but it can also be a very, very beautiful thing. So find what ignites you. Find what feels like your purpose. And then make that into your business. Is that not the coolest thing that we can take our passions and our skills and we can turn that into something that sustains our family and the way we live and function every day? That’s just the coolest thing to me.
[28:45] Your homework assignment to find what truly lights you up!
So… I want to encourage you all to do an exercise with me. If you are the journaling type, I would like to give you a Journal prompt:
- What does success mean to ME? Write it out. Write out a few things honestly and then go back and prioritize them.
- List 3 things that make you feel fulfilled—not based on what society says, but what brings you peace and purpose.
Your dreams are enough. And you are enough.
So definite what success means to you—and unapologetically live it.
If you’re up for it, please share your own definition of success with me. If you want to DM me or leave it in the comment or review, I would love that.
According to “EmbracingIntensity.com, remember, burnout is a state of physical, emotional and mental exhaustion caused by prolonged stress, especially common in neurodivergence and overachievers. It’s often the result of too much energy output and not enough fuel to keep going. This can lead to great suffering and a feeling of being stuck in that never ending cycle of stress and exhaustion. However, it is important to remember that you are not alone in your struggles, friend. There are ways to overcome burnout. So if you will join me in those journaling prompts, write out some of those things that really light you up, and then again, without feeling shame put those in order. It’s going to look different for everyone, and again, it’s ok. And that is going to help you not only find a better balance for your personal and your business life, but hopefully it’s going to direct you towards more success in your business because you’re going to understand where your time and your energy and your finances need to go. You’re going to understand what needs to be cut out of both areas of your life, personal and business, so that you can make space for something greater.
Sometimes you might have just started something and you might have to immediately reel back out of that, kind of like I did with my membership, and that’s ok. You’ll never know unless you dive in and try.
You’ll never know true success without failures first. Trust me, I know.
[31:26] Permission to Live Differently: Embrace Your Unique Path and Create Your Own Success
I hope episode was validating, freeing, and thought-provoking for so many of you. I hope it challenged you and gave you permission to dream and live differently.
One of my favorite questions I get asked all the time is, “Jana, I want to quit my job so bad and start my business finally, but I don’t know how to quit or where to start. How did you do it?”
So go ahead and subscribe to my channel on your favorite platform so that you can join me in Episode 003 about how to “Just Start.. Start Late, Start Over, Start with nothing! Just Start” And I’m going to walk you through practical steps to make it happen.
So repeat after me: My dreams are valid, my success is mine to define, and I am doing the work to make it happen! Go be a dream doer and i’ll see you next time!
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